More tv... starting... now. 
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
bankerboy:
If you were "there" you'd be here. 
bankerboy:
Dreams/nightmares... 
I think tomorrow is grey day for me. I will be back.
The boy still didn't go to school yet. All swollen & red. Getting better though. I worry alot.
We have been sitting in his room for the last 2 days just watching tv... for hours... & hours...
Today I started up a Spyro game from the beginning. It is a great game for...
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The boy still didn't go to school yet. All swollen & red. Getting better though. I worry alot.
We have been sitting in his room for the last 2 days just watching tv... for hours... & hours...
Today I started up a Spyro game from the beginning. It is a great game for...
Read More
VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
doozer:
Yes, I know. *sigh* Just didn't want to be to much of a downer and mention it since we've just "met."
doozer:
There is a certain comfort level in it and knowing that not much can throw you off.
Given this, I've always liked the quote from "Girl, Interupted" (from the movie, i haven't read the book) when the cabby drops Susanna off at Claimore and says, "Don't get too comfortable."
Anyways...
Given this, I've always liked the quote from "Girl, Interupted" (from the movie, i haven't read the book) when the cabby drops Susanna off at Claimore and says, "Don't get too comfortable."
Anyways...
WE HAVE A BAD CASE OF THE GREYS.
Everyone is going grey & wants to stay that way. I get very few & sometimes no comments at all anymore. I feel unheard, in real life & now on here too. My grey is coming soon...
POISEN ROCKS! POISEN IVY, THAT IS.
My son has a hella rash. The doc thought it was contact dermatitis yesterday....
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Everyone is going grey & wants to stay that way. I get very few & sometimes no comments at all anymore. I feel unheard, in real life & now on here too. My grey is coming soon...
POISEN ROCKS! POISEN IVY, THAT IS.
My son has a hella rash. The doc thought it was contact dermatitis yesterday....
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VIEW 10 of 10 COMMENTS
jayenn:
I hope you don't go grey. I read your journal but hardly comment cause I don't have anything really helpful or insightful to say.
cybele:
I haven't been around much, either, dear. (So it isn't that I don't care.) 
Yes, many lovely people have gone the way of "gray." Thought about it a few times myself, actually. Just can't seem to sever it completely. We'll see...
Sounds as if things continue to be "interesting" for you, Ms. Kitty. Just remember the saying: "that which does not kill us makes us stronger."
Cold comfort, I know.
Take care, hon! (My you soon be freed from dating "purgatory"!)
[Edited on Apr 13, 2006 5:34PM]
Yes, many lovely people have gone the way of "gray." Thought about it a few times myself, actually. Just can't seem to sever it completely. We'll see...
Sounds as if things continue to be "interesting" for you, Ms. Kitty. Just remember the saying: "that which does not kill us makes us stronger."
Cold comfort, I know.
Take care, hon! (My you soon be freed from dating "purgatory"!)
[Edited on Apr 13, 2006 5:34PM]
All my senses are overwhelmed. Every noise makes me jump. My guts are upset. I won't sleep much tonight. I am always this way when my son is sick.
I haven't heard from dude since last Tuesday. I wrote him an email. He has clearly come to his senses. He is a smart one. But, stupid me is still thinking about him every day.
I haven't heard from dude since last Tuesday. I wrote him an email. He has clearly come to his senses. He is a smart one. But, stupid me is still thinking about him every day.
Here are afew of the stranger side effects of my new med:
~Abnormal secretion of milk (nice)
~Confusion (what?)
~Swelling of the breasts (please!)
~Eating abnormal amounts of food (already there, my friend)
~Worsening symptoms of depression & suicidal thoughts (here is where all that drama from last week may have come in. I have stopped taking it just in case. We will see.)
~Abnormal secretion of milk (nice)
~Confusion (what?)
~Swelling of the breasts (please!)
~Eating abnormal amounts of food (already there, my friend)
~Worsening symptoms of depression & suicidal thoughts (here is where all that drama from last week may have come in. I have stopped taking it just in case. We will see.)
I am just waiting for this day to end. Waiting for the days to go by & this dead feeling to pass. Waiting it out takes forever sometimes.
And everyone is out having fun. Being together. And I am here alone. And I start to hate those people.
And everyone is out having fun. Being together. And I am here alone. And I start to hate those people.
suicidal_george:
ya, i'm calling around for someone to shoot some pool with me. Best i got is a maybe. But, I did buy a big amp today for my little show. After i feed my belly (i'm rather shakey & ditzy at the moment) i'm gonna feed my spirit and bang out some tube amplified tunes.
ps - you should feed your spirit too and paint something or something.
ps - you should feed your spirit too and paint something or something.
hypnogogic:
I was out having fun, do you hate me?.......
I am feeling better. I am feeling the life coming back. I saw some horses on the side of the road today & smiled. I yelled & flipped off some drivers. I have been impatient off & on all day. I am coming back to life alrighty. 
I had to write an apology email today. Bleh. I have so many of those to write. I...
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I had to write an apology email today. Bleh. I have so many of those to write. I...
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It is like the last peice was pulled out & the whole Jenga tower came tumbling down.
I feel too beat to even get angry at stupid drivers & stupid people. I don't even care. Which is weird for me. I am impatient most days.
I left to get groceries at 3:30. It is now 6:09. Where did that time go.
I walked up &...
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I feel too beat to even get angry at stupid drivers & stupid people. I don't even care. Which is weird for me. I am impatient most days.
I left to get groceries at 3:30. It is now 6:09. Where did that time go.
I walked up &...
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VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
jayenn:
I'm sorry. I hope things get better soon.
Here's a hug:
[Edited on Apr 07, 2006 12:33AM]
Here's a hug:
[Edited on Apr 07, 2006 12:33AM]
candler:
*sigh* 
It was overwhelming. It opened the flood gates. It went from crying out of the dissapointment of last night to crying about everything else. Anything that was waiting inside just begging to be stirred up.
It started at 9:30pm when he called & it ended at 4am when I passed out finally after taking a xanax. I just couldn't think of any other way to...
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It started at 9:30pm when he called & it ended at 4am when I passed out finally after taking a xanax. I just couldn't think of any other way to...
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VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
xxroninxx:
To be the voice of "tough love" or at least maybe a bit of a "rationale promoter"...
Take a step back hun, take a deep breath and....stop. Heh, just stop a moment and think about how much weight you're putting on everything and how, really, unnecessary it is.
You put it all on the line for one night, just a single date and you don't have to--and ya shouldn't. It only kills ya.
Just remind yourself that if anything is supposed to come out of the realtionship, it will on its own. It's not gonna come from any amount of worrying or excrutiating expectations and just..well, not any of the hell you put yourself through. All that hell is just in your head and if you just let go...you'll be amazed at how well things can manage when you just loosen the reigns a bit
Give in, babe! Give in to the fact that life and all its facets can't be controlled and that there are times when you just gotta shrug/smirk/laugh/whatever and go with the flow
Take a step back hun, take a deep breath and....stop. Heh, just stop a moment and think about how much weight you're putting on everything and how, really, unnecessary it is.
You put it all on the line for one night, just a single date and you don't have to--and ya shouldn't. It only kills ya.
Just remind yourself that if anything is supposed to come out of the realtionship, it will on its own. It's not gonna come from any amount of worrying or excrutiating expectations and just..well, not any of the hell you put yourself through. All that hell is just in your head and if you just let go...you'll be amazed at how well things can manage when you just loosen the reigns a bit
Give in, babe! Give in to the fact that life and all its facets can't be controlled and that there are times when you just gotta shrug/smirk/laugh/whatever and go with the flow
xxroninxx:
It kinda sounds like you basically...psyche yourself out. Of course theres no on/off switch for it but...heh, I dunno, if things start to get panicky just picture a mini-Ronin on your shoulder giving an award winning relaxation massage rivaled by none.
Yeah, we'll go with that.
Yeah, we'll go with that.
He canceled. It was for good reason. He was upset & said that he wouldn't make good company. He sounded upset. He had a bad conversation with his brother.
He tried to make plans with me for lunch later on the weekend. But all I could do at that moment was see the last four & a half hours of anxiety. Four & a half...
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He tried to make plans with me for lunch later on the weekend. But all I could do at that moment was see the last four & a half hours of anxiety. Four & a half...
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adelina:
You're being way too hard on yourself. There isn't any reason to feel guilty about not asking about him how he's doing - he knows you care about him, and he did cancel afterall! ♥
suicidal_george:
Don't worry you have two extra days to file your taxes this year.