I am feeling better now. My insomnia is coming back slowly, thankfully. I don't know how people sleep for 8 hours straight like that. I wake up after 8 hours of sleeping straight scared as hell, wondering what awful things have happened while I was out, like burglery or something to do with my son. I like waking up over & over again all night & getting up & hearing him breath or hearing him move in his bed or looking in to see he is ok & seeing that the apartment is ok & then I know all is ok & then I will eat or pee or whatever & then go back to bed knowing all is fine in my home & knowing that I will be up again shortly & can check on things again. Insomnia rocks!
I got a haircut yesterday & it actually looks good for once. I made her re-do it 3 times until it was right. I always just accepted what I got before because I am usually too shy to speak up, plus I always want to run out of the social situation as soon as I can. I decided to stop that nonesense & get me a good haircut. I told her how to change it & where to trim it next & I am so happy I did. Then I came home & loved the cut so much I colored it & it ended up this amazing color.
Then this morning I won $25. Yeee ha!
I am going to try to go be social in Vancouver tomorrow, to see a band I used to go see all the time. My friend is friends with them & I used to go see them all the time. They are playing at a place I think called The Arnada? It is so hard for me to do stuff like this. It is a lot like work. But I figure the more I do it, the easier it will get... that is just a theory though. I really want to do more stuff & be more social & go out more. I really don't need to mope all day to be content. No, really I don't.
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Good lord! My mom just came by. What the hell is wrong with that person? I was at the computer & she walks in & stands right over me, behind me & starts talking, breathing that awful stench of her breath all over me & invading my space. I politely ask her (yes, even with a smile) to please back up & give me alittle room. She backs up maybe 3 inches & continues talking talking talking. I grit my teeth, smile again & politely say "Why don't you have a seat?" & point to the couch, which is happily across the room. She says "No, I'm fine." & continues spewing her hellbreath all over me. Then I ask again, calmly, for her to please not hover over me & to please back up alittle bit. She rolls her eyes & says "Well, I already DID back up! Where do you want me to stand?!! Scappoose?!!!" If I would have leaned back 4 inches, my shoulders would have been touching her belly for shit's sake! And then she starts saying that I am a "critical child" & rolls her eyes & walks out the door. I was very polite. What is with the lack of respect for personal space with people? Back the fuck up! And if you think it is a strange request, I DON'T REALLY FUCKING CARE WHAT YOU THINK! RESPECT ME & DO IT ANYWAY!!!
Ok, I feel better. I only complain because this has been going on with her since the beginning of time. She knows I hate people to be right up on me like that & she doesn't ever respect my boundaries at all. She is a boundary bully!
I got a haircut yesterday & it actually looks good for once. I made her re-do it 3 times until it was right. I always just accepted what I got before because I am usually too shy to speak up, plus I always want to run out of the social situation as soon as I can. I decided to stop that nonesense & get me a good haircut. I told her how to change it & where to trim it next & I am so happy I did. Then I came home & loved the cut so much I colored it & it ended up this amazing color.
Then this morning I won $25. Yeee ha!
I am going to try to go be social in Vancouver tomorrow, to see a band I used to go see all the time. My friend is friends with them & I used to go see them all the time. They are playing at a place I think called The Arnada? It is so hard for me to do stuff like this. It is a lot like work. But I figure the more I do it, the easier it will get... that is just a theory though. I really want to do more stuff & be more social & go out more. I really don't need to mope all day to be content. No, really I don't.
~~~~~~~
Good lord! My mom just came by. What the hell is wrong with that person? I was at the computer & she walks in & stands right over me, behind me & starts talking, breathing that awful stench of her breath all over me & invading my space. I politely ask her (yes, even with a smile) to please back up & give me alittle room. She backs up maybe 3 inches & continues talking talking talking. I grit my teeth, smile again & politely say "Why don't you have a seat?" & point to the couch, which is happily across the room. She says "No, I'm fine." & continues spewing her hellbreath all over me. Then I ask again, calmly, for her to please not hover over me & to please back up alittle bit. She rolls her eyes & says "Well, I already DID back up! Where do you want me to stand?!! Scappoose?!!!" If I would have leaned back 4 inches, my shoulders would have been touching her belly for shit's sake! And then she starts saying that I am a "critical child" & rolls her eyes & walks out the door. I was very polite. What is with the lack of respect for personal space with people? Back the fuck up! And if you think it is a strange request, I DON'T REALLY FUCKING CARE WHAT YOU THINK! RESPECT ME & DO IT ANYWAY!!!
Ok, I feel better. I only complain because this has been going on with her since the beginning of time. She knows I hate people to be right up on me like that & she doesn't ever respect my boundaries at all. She is a boundary bully!
VIEW 10 of 10 COMMENTS
Two weeks.
Man, can I relate to the space thing AND the anti-social thing.
I hate clubs, bars or anything that resembles a gathering. I like to hang out in my backyard with the only three people I trust in the world.
My wife and two daughters.
Glad to hear that things are getting back to normal for you.