kozmikgirl

WE HAVE A BAD CASE OF THE GREYS.
Everyone is going grey & wants to stay that way. I get very few & sometimes no comments at all anymore. I feel unheard, in real life & now on here too. My grey is coming soon...

POISEN ROCKS! POISEN IVY, THAT IS.
My son has a hella rash. The doc thought it was contact dermatitis yesterday. He started taking benadryl & took it every 4 hours for 24 hours. But, he kept getting worse. It was a long night.

We went to urgency care when we woke. His nose was swollen & matched his lips in that dark red color. He looked sunburnt. His eyes were swollen & one eye was actually swollen almost completely shut. He was starting to dry out & get crusty. He looked a mess.

Turns out it was actually poisen ivy. He walked on a trial on Monday, which is pretty wide. He didn't touch anything. Still got it, just like last time. They gave him shots & an IV & a steroid prescription to start tomorrow. He is staying on the benedyl too. He was a mess. still is a mess. I was a mess. Still am a mess. I hate to see the boy so miserable.

I used his blankets & pillows yesterday because I thought it was dermatitis. I wore his coat. Lucky me.

DATING? NO THANKS.
So I have this friend, she & I both haven't dated in a very long time. We both like someone, went out once with them. He canceled on her the second time too. He won't talk to her anymore either. Won't reply to her emails either. This all happened afew days from each other. This is so strange, yet sort of comforting.

I could just understand if he wasn't interested. Maybe he isn't & I just don't see it. But, how do you become very interested to uninterested on your drive home from work? Do men really change their minds that fast? Or did the uninterest come after I got upset? I would be flattered if someone got upset when I canceled, but that is me. Does he see me as weak now because I get emotional? He knows I am emotional though. He has known me long enough to know that. So, that isn't it. Plus, I apologised. Does he see my apology as stupid? Did he roll his eyes at that? Could he feel so bad that he just decided not to talk to me anymore? I hope not. Or maybe it was me & my stupid mouth again. Stupid foot gets in there & that is that.

^ (see what I have to put up with all day?) ^

I suspect in a week, or even in a month, he will probably just casually text me all of a sudden like nothing is wrong & be like "Hey, whatchya doing, darlin'?" I can see it now. Fuck, either jump me or leave me alone. Start something or stop it. One or the other. I am driving myself crazy here. Is it really that hard to understand? Men, is it?

I think I can pretty much be clear that this is dead if I don't hear anything be Friday. I sent that last email on Friday. I see him online during the week. A week is plenty of time for it. I will be done with it then. I will delete our old emails. I will be done. Which is sort of a relief.

I kinda feel weird journalling all this. Makes me sound crazy. But then again, I am crazy so it is ok. Plus, no one will read this anyway. Ho hum.