Saturday Jan 07, 2006

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LONELY
I feel sad. Lonely. All that. I pace around here feeling lost & empty.

I haven't felt lonely in years, not all the time & this bad at least. I don't even really know what it is I am lonely for. A significant other? A friend? A pet? My son when he was just a boy? I don't know.

I was perfectly, pleasently content (more or less) emotionally until all that stuff happened to me. It really knocked me down & has aroused all these lonely feelings that I haven't had in forever.

I used to quite enjoy hangin' by myself. I used to do fun things that made me happy. I forget what those things were though. It all is so boring & bland. Nothing touches me, it is all dull & empty.

I just don't know how to get back to good.

Damn it, I just wish things were good like how they were back in the day (8 weeks ago). smile

VIRUSES
And I caught a stomach virus from one of my son's friends. It really makes things complicated with my health. It isn't easy to get over for people like me. It takes up to 10 days to get over what is a usually 48 hour "bug". It just irritates everything down in the gut & makes it go nuts. It can take 3 more months to get back to completely normal again too, which sucks. I am strapped in & ready for a LONG recovery & alot of bed rest. frown

SPRAINS
However, on a good note, my back seems to be getting better every day. I am sure it will be completely fine in another 5 or so days. That makes me very happy! biggrin
VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
velvetknuckles:
They are words of true wisdom luv....
mr_rick:
i wonder that too. i know you have read her journals, if not you should go back through and look at them. i never made any kind of remark that would make her feel the way she does. i was nothing but curtious. i even offered help with some photogrpahy issues. and when i found out i was the one she was talking about i even appologized. but she continued to write about it in her journals AND mine. i never went back and wrote anything in hers, i respected that. but she kept it going. LOL its comical now, but i just didnt understand why she felt that way all of a sudden. i was on her friends list for 4 months. and like you said, it is a site of nudity so we are intrigued by that, but we also enjoy the openmindedness of the people who write and keep journals. you have to be crazed if you think writing a PUBLIC journal wont get responses. if thats how she felt...she shouldnt be writing. nuff said.

and sweety....you will be to what you had 8 weeks ago. it will take some time but it will happen. it didnt happen overnight to get where you were then, so give it some time. if it gets tough...you have many friends here willing to make you feel wanted and needed. just lean on us when you need to...we are here for you.

rick ARRR!!!

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