There is really nothing like going through horrific times to show you how miserable & insensitive human beings are. I can't even begin to describe the amount of pure soulessness I have seen in people in the last few weeks. Mankind really makes me sick & that is why I don't really give a shit to go out & celebrate with them tonight. I am lonely but I can't afford, emotionally, to be around another person right now. Right now just the sight of anyone makes me want to vomit my guts out.
I hope I will get back to a place where I can see people as kind, understanding & perhaps even soulful. I am sure there are afew, or even maybe many, people who are kind out there. Most of the people here on SG seem so sincerely kind. That is really what I am trying to keep in mind.
Everyone has lost their fucking sense of compassion these days, just one after another, over & over, on & on it goes. It all just has made people seem like soulless beings to me.
It makes me upset. I feel my empathy & compassion for others & I feel so alone in my sensitivities for every living thing. I want to have hope for humanity, but I don't see any right now. People make me sick.
It may just be my perspective for the moment, especially with the recent events I have wrote about (& also recent events too disturbing to speak of). These last 6 weeks have been hell on earth. I can't believe I have to get up tomorrow. How putrid it all is.
Even my mom. I was upset afew mintues ago on the phone about little Miss Belle & she said "Well, there are a lot of people with worse problems then you, ya know."
Gee. How kind of you to remind me. I feel so much better now!
And my friend who won't call me back, I just want to talk to someone about it all, get it out. Yet, she did call earlier today & left me a message about a cd release party tonight... the cd I was suppose to do the cover for & they totally dissed me.
Wow, how nice of you. Good enough to party with, but not good enough to give a shit about.
And my aunt, getting ready to rip her kitties first knuckles out all so her precious furniture won't get clawed up. Who cares about your goddamn furniture! This is a LIVING BEING!!! What a souless person.
And of course, let's not forget good ole David, the asshat roommate... sucking the very life out of me while sleeping on my couch, stealing my things, being a lazy goodfornothing bastard, lieing to my face & sucking the very sanity from my mind. Miss Belle was so sick & I was so worried about her, & then with all my usual dealings with my own normal illnesses & pain & all while being extremely stressed about the holidays. I can't believe how much of a puke he is.
I just took down any reminder of this shit holiday... all boxed up... it has made me smile to see my livingroom as it was before. I just want my life from before 6 weeks ago back.
I hope I will get back to a place where I can see people as kind, understanding & perhaps even soulful. I am sure there are afew, or even maybe many, people who are kind out there. Most of the people here on SG seem so sincerely kind. That is really what I am trying to keep in mind.
Everyone has lost their fucking sense of compassion these days, just one after another, over & over, on & on it goes. It all just has made people seem like soulless beings to me.
It makes me upset. I feel my empathy & compassion for others & I feel so alone in my sensitivities for every living thing. I want to have hope for humanity, but I don't see any right now. People make me sick.
It may just be my perspective for the moment, especially with the recent events I have wrote about (& also recent events too disturbing to speak of). These last 6 weeks have been hell on earth. I can't believe I have to get up tomorrow. How putrid it all is.
Even my mom. I was upset afew mintues ago on the phone about little Miss Belle & she said "Well, there are a lot of people with worse problems then you, ya know."
Gee. How kind of you to remind me. I feel so much better now!
And my friend who won't call me back, I just want to talk to someone about it all, get it out. Yet, she did call earlier today & left me a message about a cd release party tonight... the cd I was suppose to do the cover for & they totally dissed me.
Wow, how nice of you. Good enough to party with, but not good enough to give a shit about.
And my aunt, getting ready to rip her kitties first knuckles out all so her precious furniture won't get clawed up. Who cares about your goddamn furniture! This is a LIVING BEING!!! What a souless person.
And of course, let's not forget good ole David, the asshat roommate... sucking the very life out of me while sleeping on my couch, stealing my things, being a lazy goodfornothing bastard, lieing to my face & sucking the very sanity from my mind. Miss Belle was so sick & I was so worried about her, & then with all my usual dealings with my own normal illnesses & pain & all while being extremely stressed about the holidays. I can't believe how much of a puke he is.
I just took down any reminder of this shit holiday... all boxed up... it has made me smile to see my livingroom as it was before. I just want my life from before 6 weeks ago back.
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
Not like I'm tryin' to talk trash about your momma!
You asked if I was BP. I'm diagnosed with "double-depression", general anxiety, PTSD, ADD, and others. I'm currently only being treated for the depression. The rest tends to fall into place when it's under control.
I had never heard of sensory intergration disorder until my nephew was diagnosed with it. He's about 1 1/2 yrs old now. My sister thinks that she and I have it, too. If so, I can just tack it on to the bottom of my list.