i had a pretty crazy weekend. lots of boozing as i'm sure you can tell from my last entry. 
on friday my sister and i got really fucking smashed out of our minds. we were only drinking beer and wine. i didn't know we'd get so drunk. we ended up getting in a fist fight, about what i don't remember. but we're both okay, and still on good terms. neither of know why we were fighting.
but all the screaming and calling each other dirty cunts resulted in the police being called. we were so smooth with the police. we ended up having a long conversation with them about piercings, all friendly like. and they were going to drive us home but we made them call us a cab instead.
but when the cab came we told the driver to take us to grocery store, where we stole a pumpkin and then went home.
i love pumpkins. they're great. they have such attitude. bright orange, round, just sitting there all chill. i love it. i'm going to carve a jackolantern. how exciting is that.
on saturday my sister and i went to toronto and got smashed again. my sister made out with this sketchy guy who looked like axl rose (her husband). i had to entertain the axl-look-alike's ugly annoying friend. i smoked his weed and drank his booze and then when he pissed me off i told him off so hardcore. it was hilarious. hopefully he learns not to treat girls like they're stupid just cuz they're pretty or have nice tits.
when we were in toronto we saw a picture of slash (my husband) on the side of a building, and it was practically lifesize. so naturally, i made out with it.
good times, good times.
you know you've done something right when you wake up with a pumpkin in your bed.
on friday my sister and i got really fucking smashed out of our minds. we were only drinking beer and wine. i didn't know we'd get so drunk. we ended up getting in a fist fight, about what i don't remember. but we're both okay, and still on good terms. neither of know why we were fighting.
but all the screaming and calling each other dirty cunts resulted in the police being called. we were so smooth with the police. we ended up having a long conversation with them about piercings, all friendly like. and they were going to drive us home but we made them call us a cab instead.
but when the cab came we told the driver to take us to grocery store, where we stole a pumpkin and then went home.
i love pumpkins. they're great. they have such attitude. bright orange, round, just sitting there all chill. i love it. i'm going to carve a jackolantern. how exciting is that.
on saturday my sister and i went to toronto and got smashed again. my sister made out with this sketchy guy who looked like axl rose (her husband). i had to entertain the axl-look-alike's ugly annoying friend. i smoked his weed and drank his booze and then when he pissed me off i told him off so hardcore. it was hilarious. hopefully he learns not to treat girls like they're stupid just cuz they're pretty or have nice tits.
when we were in toronto we saw a picture of slash (my husband) on the side of a building, and it was practically lifesize. so naturally, i made out with it.
good times, good times.
you know you've done something right when you wake up with a pumpkin in your bed.
VIEW 25 of 31 COMMENTS
delorium:
no prob dude. I can't wait until her new album comes out. Fuck I need to go back to sleep
codemonkeym:
Watch out for the banana squash. 