Another time to update, and again nothing much to talk about. Eh, I'll find something. I always do.
The summer theatre program is officially over, which now means that my boyfriend has a whole three weeks with which to shower me with affection until he has to do that teaching thing. I didn't realize how much I'd missed it, attention whore that I am, until we were making love last night and I couldn't keep from crying. It just felt so good to be holding him like that again, it was such a rare thing this summer. Which of course, as we drifted off to sleep made me remember the seven months that I was married, and the six months that passed when I didn't even realize that I didn't want to have sex anymore. Damn, only two years have passed since those wretched days; I'm in such a better place, and that feels good too.
He wants me to move in with him next year, when my lease at this place is up. It seems that this relationship has a yearly cycle. Things maintain for a year, and then we think about the possibility of change. Things change or they don't, and then there's another year of just being together. I like knowing that he wants to be together, but not having the pressure of thinking about whether or not it's something I want to do for many many months. I like being able to see how things go, talking about the future occassionally, but knowing that it's not pressing yet.
I wish my work situation was this stable. I'm starting to think I'm going to have to get a second job after all - that just working at my little gas station is not going to be enough to help me pay for my bills and my student loans when they come due - starting in November. I need to be in better control of my finances - I eat out far too frequently, but cutting that out of my monthly budget is not going to cover the minimum payments on those loans. Ugh. I need to keep reminding myself that the more stress I deal with, the more I can handle. Not that it's an entirely comforting thought, but I ought to accept the additional shifts when my boss calls and asks if I can cover them. I just don't want to overload and fuck up because I'm exhausted and trying to deal with more stress than I can really handle- that's how I lost my last job.
Ah well. I have a feeling I'll be treated to a day of indulgence sometime soon, with a meal of sushi to boot. Though it'd be more fun if they did have nunchuck days at the sushi restaurant. Slightly dangerous, but fun. ^_^
The summer theatre program is officially over, which now means that my boyfriend has a whole three weeks with which to shower me with affection until he has to do that teaching thing. I didn't realize how much I'd missed it, attention whore that I am, until we were making love last night and I couldn't keep from crying. It just felt so good to be holding him like that again, it was such a rare thing this summer. Which of course, as we drifted off to sleep made me remember the seven months that I was married, and the six months that passed when I didn't even realize that I didn't want to have sex anymore. Damn, only two years have passed since those wretched days; I'm in such a better place, and that feels good too.
He wants me to move in with him next year, when my lease at this place is up. It seems that this relationship has a yearly cycle. Things maintain for a year, and then we think about the possibility of change. Things change or they don't, and then there's another year of just being together. I like knowing that he wants to be together, but not having the pressure of thinking about whether or not it's something I want to do for many many months. I like being able to see how things go, talking about the future occassionally, but knowing that it's not pressing yet.
I wish my work situation was this stable. I'm starting to think I'm going to have to get a second job after all - that just working at my little gas station is not going to be enough to help me pay for my bills and my student loans when they come due - starting in November. I need to be in better control of my finances - I eat out far too frequently, but cutting that out of my monthly budget is not going to cover the minimum payments on those loans. Ugh. I need to keep reminding myself that the more stress I deal with, the more I can handle. Not that it's an entirely comforting thought, but I ought to accept the additional shifts when my boss calls and asks if I can cover them. I just don't want to overload and fuck up because I'm exhausted and trying to deal with more stress than I can really handle- that's how I lost my last job.
Ah well. I have a feeling I'll be treated to a day of indulgence sometime soon, with a meal of sushi to boot. Though it'd be more fun if they did have nunchuck days at the sushi restaurant. Slightly dangerous, but fun. ^_^
VIEW 14 of 14 COMMENTS
khalil:
I hope everything works out for you.....mmmmmm...sushi!! 
climac:
your bf should shower you with affection - u are lovely