kitsune76

Ever had one of those phone-calls with someone you really care about and it's going well and it's going well and suddenly you say something at the end and it all gets awkward and that's how the call ends, and no matter how good the rest was you're now all worried because of the awkwardness at the end?

Yeah. Guess who that happened to last night.

(sigh)

She's here in a little over two weeks. I don't know when I'm seeing her as her family suck at planning so I'm not sure which day(s) it'll be. It *should* all work out great but I'm now really terrified because I think lil' ol' easily worried me is now worried that she feels less for me than I for her and oh you don't want to hear my relationship angst. It'll either work outo r it won't and most signs point to working out so I'll shut up about that.

Life still seems to be in a state of flux right now (as opposed to a state of Flux, which would prolly be more amusing and cute). Lots of hard realisations about what I need to do with my life and lots of frustrations that I can't actually vent because then everyone would realise that yes, I am actually 12. So I just have to suck it in and work through the shock and horror of, oh, responsibility and making an effort. Which frankly is pathetic in a 27 year-old but hey, never said I was perfect.

The jobi nterview I fucked up has come back as a 'thanks but no thanks' which really threw me into a funk and led to this bug I'm fighting making a comeback. But had some good, hard discussions with parents that led me to realising a few home truths and next week I get started on the serious task of trying to move out.

My life is actually quite good right now. It's also tough.