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kikou

Davis, California

Member Since 2006

Followers 27 Following 34

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Sunday Aug 13, 2006

Aug 13, 2006
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Wow. I didn't expect to get such a standing ovation for what happened in the club. I feel like I just basically did what any good citizen would do to protect herself and others. I guess I'm keen, well, not really. It was the fact that I'd seen this guy before and knew he had been targeting me before and I was well aware that he was targeting me again. He even asked me to dance that night. That night, being the night a year ago when I first saw him, he was very hostile. I refused to dance with him and he put his arms against the wall to try and lock me in. Fortunately, I'm tiny and I just ducked and escaped. My male friend wanted to beat his ass. I am not pro-violence, so I told him not to. Looking back though, and after what happened last night, I wish I had let Matt beat his ass. The guy honestly deserved it then, and then again last night. I hope the police roughed him up... I'll bet they did. Sacramento police are notorious for acting in that manner. Anyway, thank you everyone for the comments. I will try to make sure I personally thank each one of you.

In terms of today, things have been going pretty well. Dad and I checked the fluids in my car and Mom made tamales for dinner. I just had to deal with Hunter being a bit of a jerk though. I promised him that I'd come home today, on Monday. I ended up staying here at my parents' house today though anyway and I'll be spending just this one more night here. Hunter called and got furious when I told him I would be staying here. He said said a bunch of shit about how I just do whatever my parents want, and how he doesn't want me going to clubs by myself and this and that. He is very controlling, but never violent or abusive. It's more of a needy, codependent thing, I think. Anyway, a while ago I just quit subscribing to his shit and hopefully he'll learn how to be at home by himself without complaints eventually. One would think that I'd be upset about the phone conversation, but I'm so used to this that I don't even blink anymore. It's his thing to get over, and if he does, good, and if he doesn't, he'll just be putting more strife into his own life of his own free will. Crikey.

Has anyone heard of "ASH" before? It stands for alt.suicide.holiday. It's a usenet newsgroup that claims to be pro-choice suicide, or pro-euthanasia. They have a methods file that tells how to commit suicide and describes some grisley things. The members of the newsgroup outrightly encourage young teens to commit suicide and cheer on others who have, "caught the bus." I stumbled onto this as I recently read a news article about a girl named Suzy Gonzales that was a member of the site who killed herself in a Florida motel room with potassium cyanide. Anyway, I've been toodling around on the group since then. I myself am not suicidal, nor have I ever been, even during my darkest days. I find it highly disturbing though that these people encourage minors to commit suicide, are disgustingly anti morals, ethics, philosophy, religion, government. Counter-culture is one thing. And it's certainly a thing I like. However, this is all just rubbish and it's really quite disturbing. I wish someone could do something about it, but everything there is protected by the first ammendment. I was thinking, perhaps they could just put more controls on the group. I feel that members must be over eighteen and that they must verify it with a credit card number or bank routing number. Perhaps that would keep youngsters out of there and away from these volatile people who encourage suicide as a good life option. Uncannily, the members that encourage others to commit suicide have usenet records stating that most of them have been there for more than eight years, and obviously, they haven't committed suicide. I find that very disturbing in that I assume that some of these people are just cruel and unusual and feed off of others' harming themselves. Either way, it's quite controversial. As for euthanasia, it is a claimed topic, but I never see it really discussed. There are not very many people, almost none actually, who are older and terminally ill. Most of the people, or, kids rather, are suffering from mental illness that should be reported to a doctor. Hrmph.

Sooo, I guess that's all I've got for right now. I'm sure that Hunter will be calling back in a few to either rant at me or tell me how sad he is or something. I have an urge to just turn off my cell, but I know he needs to talk or whatever and I'm horridly patient, with everyone, so I guess I'll talk to him. Argh. So frustrating though. He gets to see his mom every week. I live nearly 300 miles from my parents and it's a nice relief to get to hang out with them. Oh well. Life goes on, eh?

Much love and thanks again everyone for the nice comments.
Always,

--Kikou
VIEW 7 of 7 COMMENTS
spinhouse247:
I agree with the post above. Kick the fool in the nuts. As for the co-dependance thing, I would sit down and think long an hard about the situation. That can lead to some extremely un-healthy habits. Onto the suicide thing, thats just fucking sick. These people thrive off of others misfortunes. A kid came up to me once in high school and said he was going to kill himself, I told him "do what you gotta do man".
Aug 14, 2006
corsair:
hey Cutie! I just read your entries. Congratulations! What you did obviously needed to be done . . and I know it took balls (so to speak) to do it! If more people had the courage to turn in these creeps, the world would be a better place.
You can be very proud of your brave response to a difficult situation! You Rock!
Aug 16, 2006

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