ketchup_suicide

Ok.so Im attempting to write this journal|blog thingee withOUT losing it :/
If I lose it again Im gonna shoot a chimp in the face

Mood: sore? Yepthats what I am just sore
Listening to: We Have Come for Your Parents by AMENawesome cd [times eleventyfourtynineeightytwo]
Watching: The music video for Tear You Apart by She Wants Revenge. [WEIRDEST.VIDEO.EVER. wtf?! Im so confoozled]
Reading: still nothing :/ any good suggestions?
Quote Of The Day: I have to kill myself to prove I'm still alive. As I swallow you, hurt myself with you, die for you, cause I am alone. I rest my bloody head down, the pillow still smells like you. Ian.he is just brilliant

So wewt.i lost my journal yesterdayand it was sooo much fun
It was quite nifty :[
All that to waste!
And Ill never remember it all!!!

Ok.hmmm.lets seeI had pics to show.uhm.where to start where to starthmmm
Ok, Illl just start with Friday

Friday
Uhhhh..ok.moving on to Saturday.i didnt do anything on FridayI think possibly I went to sleep.or was this the day I saw Inside man? Im not sure
Btw.Inside Man was awesome.but it is more of a rental movie than a big-screen-spend-nintyhundred-dollars-sit-with-annoying-strangers kinda thing

OOOOOOO! I know what noteworthy thing happened on Fridayso here we go:
I was in my office working and out of nowhere my dad came in and asked me to follow him to his office. He needed to chat with me.
Shit..what did I do wrong NOW?!?!?
So I get in his office kinda shaking a bit because I was worried I did something wrong.again
He sits down in his chair and faces me
Then.we proceeded to talk about me.
Ughlike.everything about me
My failings
My successes
My problems
My needs
My EVERYTHING
Sheesh
So he basically ended up asking me if I would go to therapy if he found me a good psychologist.
Lucky meI didnt even have to ask as I had been trying to figure out how to go about
But it turns out that my dad is more worried about me than he lets on!
He says that Im good at misleading people and making them think something? UhI wonder where I got it from
So basicallywe talked about therapy and professional help mostly because of my problems and issues.then he also mentioned that he knew about some things he shouldnt know..certain private things.certain things that I know are adding to the problems I have..so yeah.AND he already knew about my money sitch.so he said he would help me out

Then I went home and took some shit and passed out so that I didnt exist

So then
Saturday
My dad woke me up at the butt crack of 9 and made me go get my breaks done. He and my stepmom [Jill] picked me up at Midas and we went to the Victoria Gardens.it wasnt really a good mall for me. it was all some prissy upscale bullshit expensive stuff that I would never even WANT to THINK of buying.EVER
Except two stores
Urban Outfitters
I was in there for like.nintythreehundredandahalf years. And decided that I want the whole store.except two shirts I saw and most of the shoes ;]
And the puppy store
OH.MAI.GAWD.
Theyre SOOOOO cute
And we saw a little girl boxer.and ALMOST bought her
But she was pure bred and crap so she was $900
And we WOULD have bought her, but we have a two dog limitand Hanna still needs to die [poor decrepit weird homely dog.she isnt in painbut she looks soooo bad her hair doesnt even grow anymoreand she creaks when she walks]
So we didnt get her :[[
She was SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO cute :[
I want her!!!

Then the other puppies were all sleepingand were soooo cute.oh manso here are a few

And behind some glass in the puppy storea HUGE Easter Bunny jumped out at meI almost cried..and basically peed myself
It was bad
I hate the easter bunny now
It is the scariest thing ever invented >:-0
I was mad

Then.we went to dinner at Fusion Sushi. I had the Alba-Cadowhich was some sort of ball of albacore in the center of thinly sliced avocado [hence the Alba-Cado wewt.]

One of my waiters was SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO hott.like.omg I just creamed my panties kinda hott
And my dad and Jill found it funny to make it all obvious that I thought he was hott and they were mean.
But seriouslyhe was soooo hott.i was amazed.
And the funny thing is that he wasnt our waiter.
We had some nerdy guy and the hott waiter was waiting on a table almost behind us.and THEN out of nowhere we couldnt get our waiter to come over anymore.and the hott guy started to wait on usand did for the rest of the night while our other waiter we were supposed to have waited on the table the hott guy WAS waiting onhmm{suspicious}}

I told Ian about the waiter. I was complaining about how my dad and Jill were being jerk-faces and so I also told him about how hott I thought the waiter was. He goes uhm.weirdI dunno..butIm kinda jealous :/
I laughed because..thats just awesome
Like..Ian is sooo complicated.and the fact that he got all jealous that I thought some random nobody that Ill probably never see again was AWESOME
Made me feel pretty good :]
And like.Ian KNOWS he has ZEROlike..NO claim on me whatsoever [we arent exclusive, going out, bf and gf, we arent even liketogether.we just happen to be best friends that are extremely attracted to each other lol because things are soooo complicated]
So I think that that worried him!
I heart Ian.hes cute

Then we went and saw The Lucky Number SLeven
OH.EM.EFF.GEE.
I LOVED it soooo SOOOOOOOOOO much
[I do believe that is now one of my favourite movies now.along with the other new addition; V For Vendetta]
And I loved the movie not just because Josh Hartnett is incredibly god-like
But because the movie really was that good

And as soon as the movie was over.and I was allowed to escape.i went to Ians house
Its funny because I wasnt allowed to see him all week because I have a cold.and by Saturday [one week of being quarantined ] I got a text Hey.what are you doing? Can you come over? I dont care if you are sick
So I went over.wewtbut I wouldnt kiss him because I know how anti-germ he isand I didnt want him to get sick
It was pretty funny because he would forget and try to kiss me.and then get all sad and not do it
HAHA
thats what he gets! stinking germaphobe!!

And it was slightly odd because we didnt kiss at all! Haha
But.my neck suffered because of it
Hehe just kiddingnot reallyIve got some TINY hickies.but that STILL got me into trouble with my mom when she saw me [yeah she noticed the TINY MINISCULE hickies LAME] because she doesnt like the fact that we arent going out or anything
Ehtitles and shit like that dont matter to me
Its better this waytrust me

Sunday
I went to my dads friends house for Easter. Didnt eat much at allsomething upset my stomach.and.i participated in my very first easter egg hunt. Wewt
W-E-W-T! WEWT!!! {{gangsta gee sign for wewt}} and yes indeedie.that was in fact a wewt moment.
I got 4 eggs total HAHA I suck at it!
But gave away a lot of the crap inside of themwhat am I gonna do with a 2 cent prism?!?!
So I kept $5 that I got, some MINIATURE CRAYONS!!!, and a squirtie elephant.
Yay
I was happy

Thenas soon as I could get away from that
I went to Ians house
And yeahwe were out of condomswhich made me laughso I ran to the store.and bought condoms for the first time. Yep. Id never bought them before that! Someone else always had themor someone would give me some or something. So I felt all retardedand it turned out that while I was walking around the storemy belt was undonein my rush out the door I had forgotten to do it up!
Yep. Oops!
I laughed a lot
Then a little later Ian and I went back to that storeand the funny thing iswhen I had bought the condomseveryone at the counter kinda chuckledbecause I ran inbought themand ran out [hey I was in a hurry ok? Lol] it was pretty obvious what was going on.and so a few of them all laughed at me
And so when I went back to the store WITH Ian a little later.some of the same people laughed a lot.i laughed too and Ian was embarrassed. He got all weirded out and then started joking aroundomg.we had sexand they know it.wtf?....oh yeah.HAHA.Yepwe did.we are dirty animals! and stuff like that.i laughed.

After we got back from the store I sat on his bed and out of nowhere he like.pounced on meand it was really cute because it had been bothering him a lot that he couldnt kiss me so he said
I dont even fucking care if you are sick!!!!
And smothered me with kisses
Awwwww..i liked it haha
So yeah

And.i told him not to leave hickies. He did. Again. I ended up [as of today] having like.5.and I had told him not to after the one.{{le sigh}}he doesnt listen to me
LolnahI just mark far too easily.

After the first one I told him my dad would get mad because I represent his company and already he doesnt like how I look. So I have to be careful of all that
Ian said oh give me a break you dork! you cant even see the first hickie!
so that night I took a pic and sent it to him. But I was kiddingbecause it really is just that small.
And I had straightened my hair for the first time. It looks pretty cool so wewt. Heres the pic

Monday
Uh..i just went to work.then over to Ians house. [omfg....stfu about Ian already!! grrr...i would....but my life is pretty much that boy :/]
Oh and for lunchI went out with my mom for the first time in.well probably since I moved out of her house.we didnt fight TOO muchso it wasnt all bad
and when i got to Ian's house...he had just gotten his hair done....it looks VERY nifty...i like it SOOOO sooooo SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO much! makes me want to get my hair done right NOW!

so yeah....there you have it
Pretty much just same old same old
:]

Omg.and BoJo [Ians brother] has a hedgehog. OHMAIGAWD. I want one sooo badly!!
Its a little dwarf albino baby hedgehog named Spooks.omghe is sooo cute
And just so angry at the world
He makes all sort of angry snuffling growling soundsit is SOOOOO funny and SOOOO adoreableomghe is sooo cute
Youre not allowed to have them here in cali because of some random lameness about the insect population being at risk when they are around. Lame. Seriouslywe dont have a shortage. {{shakes head}}

So yeahI think that is it? hope so because Im done. This is far too long
Even for mebut it was a four day update! Lol

Love you all soooo much!!!!

Hugs kisses and much boogers ;]