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kestrel

Texas

Member Since 2003

Followers 67 Following 90

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Tuesday May 30, 2006

May 30, 2006
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Fuck. I dreamed last night that my high school friend hadn't just died. I ran into him at a movie theater, and though he was injured, the rumors of his death had been greatly exaggerated. I broke down and cried all over him, which is more than I've been able to do about most of my problems in real life.

It's cliche, but I'm having a hard time facing the idea of death. The only other person I've known to have died was my grandmother, but she'd been mentally gone for ten years, and it just seemed better for her to finally be at rest. But Adam... I just keep going over all these moments with him, little things from as far back as sixth grade, and can't help seeing all these moments and everything he's done and been through as learning, leading up to... I dunno, his LIFE. And now he just doesn't exist anymore, and what was all of that for? I don't know how the people closer to him can possibly be handling this.

But... I guess we all do eventually. I just always thought I'd take it better.
VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
obd:
I'm lucky enough to not to have had a close friend die, though some are hardly recognizable to me these days. it's tough, and I honestly don't know if it gets easier.
May 30, 2006
jeremyscareme:
I have those dreams about dear friends that have died all the time. Thing is, over time, i wake up happy just to have hung out with them for a bit.

I hope that you get to that point.
Jun 1, 2006

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