I'm terrified that I'm going to wake up soon and wonder where the fuck my twenties went.
At the moment, I'm starting to believe they've been wasted on men who loved me only when I shut up and pretended to be the happy housewife I never have been. Why do I have to be the one to concede? Why does it have to be me that acts as the glue which holds a relationship together?
I think I'm probably single now, and it scares the shit out of me. I have a half remodeled house that I can't afford to continue fixing, no heat, no insurance, no money, and no way out of a situation I can't control. I have a job I bust my ass at for no money, and no way to get a job where I'm actually stable. I'm not sure what to do anymore.
All this because I asked him to hit a different button on the alarm clock so it didn't keep going off while he was in the shower and i was up at 4:30 making his breakfast and packing his goddamn lunch like I do every morning, despite the fact that I got off work 4 hours ago. I'm exhausted, and all I wanted was a little cooperation, a little compromise. Turn the alarm off please, so I don't have to--then we scream at each other, I end up breaking shit and stepping in glass trying to clean up after my own temper.
Our wedding was 6 weeks away. Guess it's better this way. I guess we'll see what happens.
At the moment, I'm starting to believe they've been wasted on men who loved me only when I shut up and pretended to be the happy housewife I never have been. Why do I have to be the one to concede? Why does it have to be me that acts as the glue which holds a relationship together?
I think I'm probably single now, and it scares the shit out of me. I have a half remodeled house that I can't afford to continue fixing, no heat, no insurance, no money, and no way out of a situation I can't control. I have a job I bust my ass at for no money, and no way to get a job where I'm actually stable. I'm not sure what to do anymore.
All this because I asked him to hit a different button on the alarm clock so it didn't keep going off while he was in the shower and i was up at 4:30 making his breakfast and packing his goddamn lunch like I do every morning, despite the fact that I got off work 4 hours ago. I'm exhausted, and all I wanted was a little cooperation, a little compromise. Turn the alarm off please, so I don't have to--then we scream at each other, I end up breaking shit and stepping in glass trying to clean up after my own temper.
Our wedding was 6 weeks away. Guess it's better this way. I guess we'll see what happens.
VIEW 8 of 8 COMMENTS
tiger_fodder:
I can say the same exact thing back at you. 
louisiana:
Aww...hope everything works out, beautiful.