keith

Somewhere in the world there is a person who is literally the world's worst doctor, and the really funny thing is, somebody has an appointment with him tomorrow.

I'm such a badass.

It's really hard to take an attractive picture of your own penis.

Clear the road! Linz's driving my truck!

In other news: it's no fun being human, and on top of that being male, sometimes.

Deep thought: Love doesn't come in just three varieties (familial, platonic, romantic), but in a variety of combinations and forms.

Prank call of the day (just received): "Huhhuh ((click))"

Don't you hate it when you're soo tired of talking about something, but...
Read More

Ugh. I. want. to. die.

Tonight I'm going to the Red Rooster with some buddies (but not Linz, since A) she's under 21 and B) her arch-nemesis will be there). I wish they were friends, god damnit. I really do. Even though this girl is difficult sometimes, I'm really trying to be good friends with her because frankly, I can't afford to lose any friends right now. I can count...
Read More

I hate waking up with just barely enough time to get ready for work and nothing else.

Weirdest dream last night.. can't remember the details but it was something involving living with Mark McGrath from Sugar Ray (who was starting a new band and constantly bad-mouthing his old one)

..and there was something about having to park my truck on my neighbors roof.

I wish I were the target of those adoring eyes, that the shoulders your arms are wrapped around, the lips you kiss, were mine.

Lllleeeeeaaaaaaaaaaavvvvvvvveeeeee

Sometimes it's the end. It's the last time.. and you don't realize it when it's happening.

Must... get off.. computer... and leave.. house.. pay.. cable bill..