katya

"show must go on..."

right?


wrong..

i feel like life is passing me by and i cant do nothing about it.
and I try. or at least i think I do..
but...nothing.
these past 10 months have been filled with..nothing.
from a school routine i ended up doing nothing for 4 months.
the time i waited till my draft time and than..
6 months of a job i hate with people i wouldn't have befriended with if i wouldn't been forced to.

i know it is easy to exaggerate, and i have mastered this art..
its not like I'm suffering or anything like that. not at all.
i do have good days and fun stuff i do.


but still.. i feel like there is something missing. i cant point my finger on it. but it is missing.
and I'm afraid that ill stay like this until ill find it.
whatever the fuck IT means...

this post is a result of listening to Avril Lavigne after having a fight with a friend at 3 am so what is emotion and what is real in what i wrote..only god knows..