kasperaffliction

since i hardly ever post blogs on here
[im usually too busy looking at the pics you see]
i figure now is the time to post one.

its going to sound cliche but i figure i can type this claptrap
post highschool all i was told would happen has.
people who were 'tight and shit' are no longer
no one can be bothered to maintain contact with people they once called besties.

and its kinda sad the same bitchy crap carries on past seeing each other five days a week if not more.

i figure this is all part of that process of realising the effort to keep friendships alive
i know its sometimes hard to be bothered
and the respect i had for some once. its just not there anymore
just dont have that urge to talk and make conversation or have interest in certain peoples lives

and thats okay right
i mean people change. or the reality of their personalities surface.

i hold sollace in the fact that the important people who actually care will remain in contact with me whether i like it or not. and its those people who i will give the same effort for.

as this is my first major vent anywhere for 08 i figure i could reflect on the past year or so.

highlights have included:
two suicide attempts from a friend
witnessing their spiral downward as they throw objects toward me
one friend being raped
a cousins death from a heart attack
the violence of my mothers menopause
the various get togethers and break ups of friends and crushes
two bfs with whom i never talk to. ever.
the hsc. being the biggest waste of time ever.
realising nothing will ever be perfect and that crying is okay.
moving out of home
having no money due to the above
finding various people to move in with make promises they cant keep.
the best friends a girl could have sticking around
near being fired for 'not smiling enough' and having 'emotion'
life.


you might think this is the biggest load of crap youve ever heard
and your probably right.
my year 12 extension two poetry suite was viewed in much the same way by the closed minded brats who marked it.

but no matter what i write at least i am being honest.
and even then youll find some entertainment value in it.

i hope when i start uni this year ill find more people like me who appreciate my interests
i hope i find artistic young adults who see past my stereotypical appearance as some have put it and find more in common with me than 'i love that band too' and 'ive got a lip ring.'

i hope the people who chose to no longer hide their shallow attention seeking ways or inner pride maintain that persona so others may see the real them as opposed to the disguise i made friends with long ago.

and i hope that this year is better. and i continue to endure and enjoy this 'life' thing.