Next week is my last week at work, I've decided. My being there is so pointless now, with me in The Boot, completely unable to really help anyone except for sitting at the register for 8 hours straight, entertaining the old folks asking me the same questions about my foot every day. The people don't bother me, the not having to wait tables doesn't bother me, and not even being broke really bothers me--it's the fact that I'm a complete waste of space. No one appreciates the little bit of help I do give them, and when I try to help and get in the way, the rude reactions are greater than the meager thanks.
I'm so ready to get out of that place, it's driving me mad. The waiting is unbearable. Tomorrow I have to be in at 7 am to run the register, out of there around 12:30-1 pm. Next Friday is payday. Sigh. I have a total of $28 dollars in my possession right now. I have no idea how much my check is going to be, seeing as I had to take out $275 for my rent to be covered in time, and that will go against anything I've made since I got back from Colorado.
I left work kind of quickly tonight, after finishing all the register business. There was a documentary on TV about prescription pill abuse and the spreading epidemic in young people across the country. My brother is an addict; he's addicted to oxy and heroin, and probably others that I'm unaware of. I was watching it as I was adding the tickets and suddenly broke into tears. It's the one hopeless situation I can't handle being strong for. When I think about my brother, I want to break down and sob, every time. It's horrible, and there is absolutely nothing anyone can do about it but him. I drove around for a while until I was done crying, then quietly went home to a dark, empty little apartment for one.
Anyway.. sorry for that last part. I just needed to get it off my chest for today.
I'm so ready to get out of that place, it's driving me mad. The waiting is unbearable. Tomorrow I have to be in at 7 am to run the register, out of there around 12:30-1 pm. Next Friday is payday. Sigh. I have a total of $28 dollars in my possession right now. I have no idea how much my check is going to be, seeing as I had to take out $275 for my rent to be covered in time, and that will go against anything I've made since I got back from Colorado.
I left work kind of quickly tonight, after finishing all the register business. There was a documentary on TV about prescription pill abuse and the spreading epidemic in young people across the country. My brother is an addict; he's addicted to oxy and heroin, and probably others that I'm unaware of. I was watching it as I was adding the tickets and suddenly broke into tears. It's the one hopeless situation I can't handle being strong for. When I think about my brother, I want to break down and sob, every time. It's horrible, and there is absolutely nothing anyone can do about it but him. I drove around for a while until I was done crying, then quietly went home to a dark, empty little apartment for one.
Anyway.. sorry for that last part. I just needed to get it off my chest for today.
jay_son:
Hey there I can relate to how you feel about your brother. I've been through the same stuff with my sister. It really sucks but don't give up hope it can get better. I don't know how many times I have cried wondering if she was going get better before she killed herself. She has been clean since sometime in April she's doing really good now. I hope it continues.