BLANK. I feel blank. I have lost myself. Now that I am sober and working a program, I am feeling a lot. I mostly feel like I have lost myself and empty. Could it be that the reason he is bieng so mean, that I am doing something positive for myself?
I did apply for a new job at my company. I really hope that I get it. I will interview this week. Wish me luck all.
Anyway, I do feel lost. My SO thinks that I should be working out and that will make me feel better. I have been going for walks at lunchtime, but since he is not seeing any changes in my appearance, he thinks I am lying about it.
I am thinking of joining a gym, but we don't have any money so I can't do that. I would love to go back to
kickboxing ( I used to do Muy Thai) , but now that I am going to AA meetings, I've been told that I am away from home enough as it is.
Anyway, I wanted to say hello. I have now been clean & sober for 28 days. I am hoping that I can regain myself this year. I have come to the conclusion that I have lost myself, and that's got to change.
Signing off...
JB
I did apply for a new job at my company. I really hope that I get it. I will interview this week. Wish me luck all.
Anyway, I do feel lost. My SO thinks that I should be working out and that will make me feel better. I have been going for walks at lunchtime, but since he is not seeing any changes in my appearance, he thinks I am lying about it.
I am thinking of joining a gym, but we don't have any money so I can't do that. I would love to go back to
kickboxing ( I used to do Muy Thai) , but now that I am going to AA meetings, I've been told that I am away from home enough as it is.
Anyway, I wanted to say hello. I have now been clean & sober for 28 days. I am hoping that I can regain myself this year. I have come to the conclusion that I have lost myself, and that's got to change.
Signing off...
JB
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
philipdavid:
Good luck in seaching for yourself JustBlue. I've never been in such a situation so I'm afraid I don't have anything that would be insightful to say to you even though I wish there was. I could give you a cliche... "take it one day at a time", but I'm sure you get plenty of that so ... just good luck.
personalchef:
Don't live your life according to AA. You will not get better until you find your passion or at least start to go after it. When the old tapes start to play in our heads thats when the trouble begins. You need to find the the things that will replace the old tapes even if you only do that thing for a day and hour, try it, like it, keep it. If not, just do the next thing that you think might make you happy. Ihope if you read this you are still clean and sober. Clean and sober for over 20 yrs. didn't think much of AA, NA, etc. and don't be affarid to change sponsers or to not even have one, its someone to talk to not to tell you how to run your life.