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juliem

Member Since 2003

Followers 24 Following 13

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Saturday Nov 29, 2003

Nov 28, 2003
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Isolation....its familiar these days. I wonder why I can't be brave and see the world. But I choose to hide. I never get out of the house outside of school and work these days. I have become afraid of the outside world. I don't know why. I feel safe at home. But, I want to be around people again, but I can't bring myself. Like a few weeks ago I had such a good time at Bar Sinister. I know I looked really good and I felt good and people surrounded me. But, they still scare me. The world scares me. I want to get out there again, but its scarey.
I feel so safe in my SG world. But I want to get out and see the real world, but its so hard for me to find the courage.
I hope I can get over this someday soon.
VIEW 25 of 51 COMMENTS
xtx:
Christ, I've forgotten more about isolation than you're ever likely to have known, love. Consequently, to answer your question in my journal, no, I haven't heard of the Heidi and Theo parties. I've only really been in town for brief spurts of time for the last couple of years since I got rid of my place in the east village, though I should be there most of next month. I'm more often in my place in Florida, trying- with the kinds of extremes of success and failure which seem to have become my trademark in nearly everything I do- to get at least the first of a number of screenplays I'm workng on into a state I'm happy with before beginning the legwork necessary for the financing, which is a process I've managed to keep wholly seperate from the creative one thus far. Anyway, beyond work, you probably know more people than I do without even living there, so believe me when I tell you that I identify with your outlook on that point. Have you visited before? Katie said the same thing to me about if she were to visit, she'd never leave- she knows some NYC people she's close to. Btw, I just checked ut your website- pretty cool stuff.

Kisses,


aleXander
Mar 29, 2004
bean:
I hope things are going well. It's good to see your account hasn't lapsed. At least now there's still some chance that you haven't entirely disappeared.

smile
Apr 11, 2004

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