I should be going over my art history flashcards right now,
or maybe piecing together more of my portfolio pages for the Saturday deadline,
but no, I've got another UTI and I can't seem to sit down for longer than 15-30 minutes at a time without running to the toilet. In fact, guess where I am now. HAHAHA don't you feel dirty, you're reading the journal that was typed on the toilet. Cooties cooties cooties.
Anyway, thank god for wireless.
***
The big question is: Will I graduate with a BFA this year, or will they knock me down to a BA based on my exit portfolio?
... I am really fucking nervous. Paralyzed with anxiety, in fact. I haven't decided yet whether they're using scare tactics, or what. Did you know they could do that?
***
My first final is tomorrow morning, but I'm not scared. I'm getting an A in that class, and it wasn't easy.
It's a neverending battle, proving you're not completely worthless.
It's just so weird, to know you're smart (or at least feel you are) when you grapple with allaying mediocrity every day of your academic life.
But does it ever end ...?
Or will I eventually just stop trying to redeem myself in their eyes and commit to going my own way? Ambivalence is romantic, but it wastes so much time, you know.
That's what is most likely to happen after this university life blows over. I'm going to start painting again and eventually I won't be able to give a fuck about what B + C think about me and my work.
That will be nice.
On a related note:
Do you know what gives me comfort nowadays? The Impressionists. The Bauhaus. And every artist that ever defected, was blacklisted, ostracised, deported, forced into exile ...
I think I'm about to email Chris Sickels again. Making puppets will surely be an inspiring departure from this stiff world of movie sets and video game environments.
No offense, aurora_b_alice.
... you know it's just not my cup of tea.
... but vodka is.
... just kidding, that's water I'm drinking.
or maybe piecing together more of my portfolio pages for the Saturday deadline,
but no, I've got another UTI and I can't seem to sit down for longer than 15-30 minutes at a time without running to the toilet. In fact, guess where I am now. HAHAHA don't you feel dirty, you're reading the journal that was typed on the toilet. Cooties cooties cooties.
Anyway, thank god for wireless.
***
The big question is: Will I graduate with a BFA this year, or will they knock me down to a BA based on my exit portfolio?
... I am really fucking nervous. Paralyzed with anxiety, in fact. I haven't decided yet whether they're using scare tactics, or what. Did you know they could do that?
***
My first final is tomorrow morning, but I'm not scared. I'm getting an A in that class, and it wasn't easy.
It's a neverending battle, proving you're not completely worthless.
It's just so weird, to know you're smart (or at least feel you are) when you grapple with allaying mediocrity every day of your academic life.
But does it ever end ...?
Or will I eventually just stop trying to redeem myself in their eyes and commit to going my own way? Ambivalence is romantic, but it wastes so much time, you know.
That's what is most likely to happen after this university life blows over. I'm going to start painting again and eventually I won't be able to give a fuck about what B + C think about me and my work.
That will be nice.
On a related note:
Do you know what gives me comfort nowadays? The Impressionists. The Bauhaus. And every artist that ever defected, was blacklisted, ostracised, deported, forced into exile ...
I think I'm about to email Chris Sickels again. Making puppets will surely be an inspiring departure from this stiff world of movie sets and video game environments.
No offense, aurora_b_alice.
... you know it's just not my cup of tea.
... but vodka is.
... just kidding, that's water I'm drinking.
VIEW 25 of 32 COMMENTS
*sends you smart-vibes....not that you reeeeally need em*
Hey, I have a Silver Pass that gets me and 3 others into Disneyland for free! But it has all these "blackout days" which includes July 16th-August 31st.
Think you'll be down here before July 16th? We get a posse together and go!