judypatricia

Did anyone else watch Oprah this afternoon?

Now, I don't have any children, thank God, but I do have parents. And my mother was basically the one who raised me for two reasons: my father worked whenever I was home so I never really saw much of him, and he's not exactly an ideal candidate for parent. From probably a ridiculously early age, my mother had been up front with me about everything; including sex. I don't know if I appreciated that when I was in my early teens, however, I do now that I'm in my early 20's. Because there was no confusion, there were no topics to tip-toe around, and my mother basically did not outwardly lie to "protect" me from the truth, like I realize a lot of parents do to their children. I went to a Catholic elementary school for the first seven years of my life, and unlike any of my peers, I truly did know where babies came from.

While watching this particular episode of Oprah today, I just found it funny how some of these mothers skirt around the issues of sex, homosexuality, and so on, just to--I'm assuming--put off telling them about it until later. One mother said how her 8-year-old was watching TV with her, and her daughter asked her what sperm was. And then later asked her what "gay" meant. When the mother begins to explain to the audience her obvious embarrassment and unpreparedness as to how to go about explaining these two things (which only lead to deeper discussion and explanation) are uncomfortably shown, and she basically said something about how sperm comes from "daddy" to help make a baby, and when further questioned on this by the daughter, the woman says she later got her onto "something else." Completely avoiding the issue. Parents can't be too ashamed of sexual matters, because, well, they have kids. So how is it that they can't bring themselves to openly discuss sex and birth with their children, so they can grow up with an understanding of it? I'm tired of hearing or seeing parents blatantly hold everything under the sun responsible for their children's behavior. True that you can't police them every hour of every day, but there is still the matter of doing your best as a responsible adult and parent. I don't mean to insult working mothers and fathers, but why have a child if you cannot be around for them? That, to me, is selfish and I just can't come to an understanding of why people do it. I choose not to have children because I first and foremost do not have the desire for them or want to be a parent, I feel it's too big a responsibility that I do not want to take upon myself or ask to share or dump on anyone else, and I want to have a career and not be in the position my mother was in when she chose to have me.

This topic will forever upset me, I think. Just working retail, and seeing how many children run around like animals because their parents do not pay any attention to them; or how many times a child will be at the back of the store, sometimes for over five minutes, without their parent even noticing. It's shameful! And any time you hear what kids say about their parents and what they want from them, it's usually always the same, universal: love and attention. Genuine attention. Not, "I'm taking you to a movie so you can be entertained and quiet." No. Quality time with your child; listen to them, get to know them, teach them, tell them everything, be into what they do in school, make them know they can come to you for anything--and that you'll be there.

Why is this so difficult? If you can give birth, surely this can't be worse.