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jubjub

New Zealand

Member Since 2004

Followers 29 Following 34

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Sunday Sep 12, 2004

Sep 11, 2004
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"Surrealism had a great effect on me because then I realised that the imagery in my mind wasn't insanity. Surrealism to me is reality "....John Lennon

...thought that quote was quite fitting for my outlook on life right now, everything seems very surreal...plus ive been in another heavy Beatles phase as of late, especially the White album and Sgt Peppers.. i love it how it transports my mood to a place of peaceful serenitychildish lunacygreat moments of reflection and gooey smiles...and on a sunny day transforms everything into beautiful LSD inspired psychedelic Technicolor, slow motion surrender, like a kid in a vast field entranced by everythingplus ive found it so good to paint to imagining myself as a film of bright acrylic colour sprawling over my canvas late at night, clothed in the black duvet of the night; where time itself seems to be paused right before your eyes, my mind the attentiveness of a cat hunting neighbouring enemies at the dead of night....

....been quite a crazy week...a beautiful friend of mine is leaving to go home and take a break from her rather hectic lifestyle, she is a pulsating vein in our film department; arranging tv shows, parties, competitions, she is quite frankly the fucking bomb, an encouragement and inspiration to me and a dear friend of mineso ive been hanging with her, its been fun. Walks, yummy pot, decadent ice-cream, reading books together, sending our minds into space, red wine, parties..ahhhyet its slightly tinged with sadness as the days creep down to the inevitable

...and it kinda sucks that she's leaving just cause i think in my opinion its over other people's fuckaround behaviour and the whole suffocation of having to see them everyday maybe...it angers me a little cause Bel is such a lovely, passionate girl bursting with a sense of the marvellous yet like Anais Nin said ( which i know only too well)..."If you live passionately, you're bound to get into confused states" and I worry that some people have played around with her feelings too much and thats such a bad thing to do to someone because at every moment they suppress and restrain and check the free play of your powers....

.combined with the fact that she means so much to me and has a piece of my heart ive come to the realisation that I am going to miss her terribly...the day she left was surreal, like a fine filter over the world, when the stars stop circling your head and you are hit with the realisation that someone you love is gone...i dont do too well at goodbyes, I get speech impediments, maybe im afraid of losing control over my emotions, i dunnoI had my moment alone, when In the Arms of Sleep by the Smashing Pumpkins played just as darkness was closing its curtains over a beautiful blood red yellow streaked sunset, tears streamed from my eyes, warm, hopeful, it was a nice momentwow im thinking this is my most personal post yet!... anyway i made her a painting and some automatism straight from my heartfelt thoughts, so i hope it inspires her....plus if she is back home away from whatever was under her skin here, when I go visit her im sure the sun will shine brighter when your free to be one with someone and get lost in your own multi-coloured world swirling with endless possibilities without any outside obstacles throwing their bags and jamming the conveyer- belt to the happiness of othersI so dont understand people sometimes and I try to steer well-clear of emotional Melrose-Place inspired drama shows with other peopleI just cant be fuckedits like people crave drama, is it too over-whelming to them to bathe in beauty for a while, to let go, to hang out in the cloudsill stop rantinghmm I need a cigarette now!

Bel is an aspiring poet and has some incredible poems in which words are carelessly making love and she breaks through to that infinite place behind the clouds to express the inexpressible....penetrating an immanent beyond or surreal, where imagination beckons.

I leave this entry with one of my favourite of her poems;

Peace and karma everyone


VIEW 11 of 11 COMMENTS
toneski:
our NZ trip will definitely be inbetween 2005 and 2010, we have it narrowed down to that atleast smile

The girl just got a new job, so we have to see how it goes and then we can start really saving up for it.

Is there a certain section that is better than the rest?
Sep 15, 2004
datura:
Thanks for the writing compliment. confused I aactually am going back to finidh my degree but it's kind of hoaky. I'm studying literature and writing. I used to laugh at the idea of it but here we are. So wait, you don't want to get your tattoo done in NZ, is that what you meant?
Sep 15, 2004

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