ya know, living in a foreign country is great, except if you live in the land of short people. i found out today that i can't buy friggin clothes out in town, because at 6', i should have a 44 inch waist according to the Japanese here. if i find the right waist size, the pants end up being shorts, and the right length would require two belts to tighten it up. on the plus side, the Russian strippers in Tokyo are fun to play with.
this chic friend of mine broke up with her dude, and said she would still like to be his friend. and while she genuinely means it, it's like "yes, i would like to be friends with the person that just ripped out my heart and stomped the shit outta it". while she's my friend and i think she's neato, i will never understand her logic. ever.
so i have this theory that I call the Jetta Theory....it goes like so:
Every girl whom drives a Volkswagon Jetta likes anal sex.
how did i come by this theory? well, in 1999 i was bullshittin' with a pal rather late at night, and he said that every girl he's ever had anal sex with drove a Jetta. I called bullshit, and the conversation got underway. after about an hour of this, i finally came to a realization..."Hey man, your wife drives a Jetta!". He was like, "exactly!". so a couple weeks later, i'm at a club living it up, and me and my pals are hitting on some girls, when the topic of cars came up, this one girl said "I drive a Jetta", and me being shitty drunk, pointed at her and yelled "You take it in the ass". she yelled back "WHO TOLD YOU THAT?!?!!".....and i laughed hysterically. and after 5 years, the theory has held up. my friends that i have discussed this with all have stories of girls that drive Jettas and like anal sex.
what's the connection? don't know. and i don't know if guys who drive Jettas are gay. so whatcha all think?
tasteless joke for Benni and whomever else:
How did the priest get the nun pregnant?
He dressed her up like a choir boy.
this chic friend of mine broke up with her dude, and said she would still like to be his friend. and while she genuinely means it, it's like "yes, i would like to be friends with the person that just ripped out my heart and stomped the shit outta it". while she's my friend and i think she's neato, i will never understand her logic. ever.
so i have this theory that I call the Jetta Theory....it goes like so:
Every girl whom drives a Volkswagon Jetta likes anal sex.
how did i come by this theory? well, in 1999 i was bullshittin' with a pal rather late at night, and he said that every girl he's ever had anal sex with drove a Jetta. I called bullshit, and the conversation got underway. after about an hour of this, i finally came to a realization..."Hey man, your wife drives a Jetta!". He was like, "exactly!". so a couple weeks later, i'm at a club living it up, and me and my pals are hitting on some girls, when the topic of cars came up, this one girl said "I drive a Jetta", and me being shitty drunk, pointed at her and yelled "You take it in the ass". she yelled back "WHO TOLD YOU THAT?!?!!".....and i laughed hysterically. and after 5 years, the theory has held up. my friends that i have discussed this with all have stories of girls that drive Jettas and like anal sex.
what's the connection? don't know. and i don't know if guys who drive Jettas are gay. so whatcha all think?
tasteless joke for Benni and whomever else:
How did the priest get the nun pregnant?
He dressed her up like a choir boy.
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
about the jetta thing - maybe all girls like it, and you're only asking the ones with jettas?
And as you can see the Monkey is quite lovely.
So you're tall, huh. Must be nice. I'll be joining the ranks of the shortys when I get there. I fly to Seoul next Friday. Ever been there?