So it seems I will be needing a professional wardrobe. Between that and applying for school, it's starting to feel eerily like I'm growing up. I've been compensating by drinking a wee bit too much and freaking out. Of course, I'm also wicked excited to just be moving forward.
I've been in a really weird mood lately. I doubt I could articulate it if I tried and any efforts to that end have only resulted in making a gigantic ass of myself...so I think I'll just wait for it to pass.
Alastair and I are teaming up for a project, which will give me a chance to get writing again. I always feel totally worthless when I don't have some sort of creative project on the go. I'm trying not to get too lofty with my goals; if I start something that I can't ever be satisfied with, I'll just slowly slack off until I'm ignoring it completely.
Speaking of totally worthless, I haven't cooked anything new, interesting, or good in weeks. I've degenerated into cooking all the weird things that I like to eat when I'm home alone and forgotten how to make real food.
Roommate asked me recently if it upset me not to be enough for someone. The simple answer: nope. It was an interesting question; it really hadn't occured to me that that might be upsetting. Maybe it was briefly at some point, but it was so long ago that I've forgotten. Also, if I ever did feel that way, it can't have been particularly traumatic, since I have no recollection. It did make me pause for a moment though, when I realized that the answer was, "why start now". I never have been enough for someone. I've had much longer, more serious relationships than she has, but she couldn't ever imagine not being someone's everything. I'm kind of indifferent really. I think it would be interesting, but in kind of an idle, dreamy way-the way that young girls wonder what being in love would feel like.I wouldn't actually want to be everything to someone-I don't think that's healthy or natural, but I'd want to think that I could be. I'm becoming more convinced, however, that the idea is nothing but quaint naivete, that I should develop a sense of realism or-failing that-get a puppy.
Also, politics suck. Frodo has failed.
I've been in a really weird mood lately. I doubt I could articulate it if I tried and any efforts to that end have only resulted in making a gigantic ass of myself...so I think I'll just wait for it to pass.
Alastair and I are teaming up for a project, which will give me a chance to get writing again. I always feel totally worthless when I don't have some sort of creative project on the go. I'm trying not to get too lofty with my goals; if I start something that I can't ever be satisfied with, I'll just slowly slack off until I'm ignoring it completely.
Speaking of totally worthless, I haven't cooked anything new, interesting, or good in weeks. I've degenerated into cooking all the weird things that I like to eat when I'm home alone and forgotten how to make real food.
Roommate asked me recently if it upset me not to be enough for someone. The simple answer: nope. It was an interesting question; it really hadn't occured to me that that might be upsetting. Maybe it was briefly at some point, but it was so long ago that I've forgotten. Also, if I ever did feel that way, it can't have been particularly traumatic, since I have no recollection. It did make me pause for a moment though, when I realized that the answer was, "why start now". I never have been enough for someone. I've had much longer, more serious relationships than she has, but she couldn't ever imagine not being someone's everything. I'm kind of indifferent really. I think it would be interesting, but in kind of an idle, dreamy way-the way that young girls wonder what being in love would feel like.I wouldn't actually want to be everything to someone-I don't think that's healthy or natural, but I'd want to think that I could be. I'm becoming more convinced, however, that the idea is nothing but quaint naivete, that I should develop a sense of realism or-failing that-get a puppy.
Also, politics suck. Frodo has failed.