Sorry I haven't replied to those who've posted in my last entry. I'm getting on it. It's been 5 days since any update, I know.
Fuck. I'm turning 21 soon and I feel like the
biggest.
loser.
ever.
It's just ringing in my head over and over, the exact way my father said it when I was still living with him:
You're not doing anything, you're just wasting, rotting away. Like a piece of shit waiting to turn white.
That was years ago. But it doesn't really hurt any less, you know? ...kids always remember the negative things about growing up. It's easier to believe the hurtful things more than the compliments, which is why I have a hard time saying "thank you" when someone says something nice to me. I do appreciate it every time, even if I can't show it.
And often times I wonder if the only reason I did so well in school (before I dropped out
) was because I was afraid of my dad kicking my ass.
Fuck. I'm turning 21 soon and I feel like the
biggest.
loser.
ever.
It's just ringing in my head over and over, the exact way my father said it when I was still living with him:
You're not doing anything, you're just wasting, rotting away. Like a piece of shit waiting to turn white.
That was years ago. But it doesn't really hurt any less, you know? ...kids always remember the negative things about growing up. It's easier to believe the hurtful things more than the compliments, which is why I have a hard time saying "thank you" when someone says something nice to me. I do appreciate it every time, even if I can't show it.
And often times I wonder if the only reason I did so well in school (before I dropped out
) was because I was afraid of my dad kicking my ass.VIEW 7 of 7 COMMENTS
Bleh. Part of me wants to drop out of school now. It's tempting.
Yeah.
I am going to go watch The Daily Show now. And So Graham Norton.