jora

I feel a little better now. After going crazy for hours, I took some more meds and I'm under control now. I'm still bored as hell though. I am in need of distraction!! I want an email-pal. Anyone interested?

I am feeling very low right now, which puzzles me since these new meds I'm on are supposed to help with my depression. I almost can't bare to be in my own skin right now. Nothing is helping to distract me from this restlessness. I had to vent, and this is where I vent. If anyone has any helpful input, please feel free to tell...
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After a long absence, I'm back - well medicated and much more focused. I hope this place is as friendly as it used to be....

Bored, bored, bored! Work is still draining my energy. I really need an actual vacation, not just a few days off for Thanksgiving.

Sigh...

Feeling very, very sad today. Not sure why. Not feeling well again, so maybe that's it. I was depressed all weekend. Oh what fun is the downward spiral. Seriously considering looking into being "tested" for chemical imbalance. Maybe knowing would help me. I don't know. Sigh...

This last weekend, I was so ill that I prayed for death. I think I've only been sick like that one other time in my whole life. It was like being tortured. But, I'm happy to report that I finally feel better.

Not much else going on. Work is all-consuming. I'm not sure I can keep up this pace until Feb. (when an absent co-worker...
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I had so much fun today with my secret love. They, of course, have no idea how I feel. It's almost enough just to see them smile. Oh, the agony.

Other than the fun, or maybe because of the fun, I feel myself spiraling into a depression again. I feel so much pressure at work, and from my mother, that I feel like I'm going...
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Today is boring! I'm at work right now wishing I were magical. I'd cast a spell on a certain someone and make them love me. I just want to touch their skin, their hair. I had dreams about it last night. Jesus, it sucks to want something that will never be possible. I'd rather have no emotion at all than be tortured by the beauty....
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The good news is that I rec'd Shaden's prints already. They look great. I will not wait for the "someday" home to hang them. They're going up in the apartment as soon as I get frames.

The bad news is that I took my kitten to the vet today to be neutered. I hate the idea of that, but healthwise, it's better for him. Poor...
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So super bored with my life. I can't stand the unpacked-ness of my apartment, but I can't seem to get motivated to unpack the crap. I never feel as though I have a home. One of my biggest dreams is to someday own a house, so I can stop feeling like an orphan.