Monday Aug 11, 2003

0
I am writing from work right now. Ick!

I am so f-ing depressed! I feel like a want to cry, but I can't because I'm stuck here at work. Plus, I f-ing hate crying! It makes me feel weak and stupid and I should just move to an island where no one has to deal with me. I am so tempted to disappear and yet at the same time, here I am writing in my damn journal.

I am stupid to think that anyone is different than they say they are and I am stupid to think that it is okay to show people who I really am. If it weren't for the few of you on here that I talk to, I'd be all alone. Part of me says that's fine. I'm alone anyway. Part of me wants to stay connected. It's so f-ing confusing.

And now, I have to put on a fake happy face for wk for the next 6 hours without freaking out, screaming or bursting into tears.

Fuck, fuck, fuck!!!!

--------------
And for those of you assholes in chat that were, well, assholes, when I went in there for help, you can fuck off!

Have a nice day.

jora33
silencenoir:
hey, I always love getting your comments dear!!
smile

I think it's good for you to have this journal, or any for that matter. It's good to write down how you feel... it helps.
Hope you get things sorted out in your head. I beleive though, that a person lucky enough to have a glimpse of the real you, should be damn honored and feel blessed.

*hugs*
take care
schleprock:
I am sorry that you are having uch a hard time. Please don't disappear there are people here that like interacting with you.

Hang in there until you can get home. And I am very sorry that some people where assholes. Some people just can't help it.

Taco would loved to get huged on.

later,
Rodney

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