This last weekend, I was so ill that I prayed for death. I think I've only been sick like that one other time in my whole life. It was like being tortured. But, I'm happy to report that I finally feel better.
Not much else going on. Work is all-consuming. I'm not sure I can keep up this pace until Feb. (when an absent co-worker...
Read More
Not much else going on. Work is all-consuming. I'm not sure I can keep up this pace until Feb. (when an absent co-worker...
Read More
I had so much fun today with my secret love. They, of course, have no idea how I feel. It's almost enough just to see them smile. Oh, the agony.
Other than the fun, or maybe because of the fun, I feel myself spiraling into a depression again. I feel so much pressure at work, and from my mother, that I feel like I'm going...
Read More
Other than the fun, or maybe because of the fun, I feel myself spiraling into a depression again. I feel so much pressure at work, and from my mother, that I feel like I'm going...
Read More
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
randomdent:
Please tell us who your secret love is!!!
jora:
If I told, it wouldn't be a secret. That's why I use "they". (There's only one person).
Sigh...
Sigh...
Today is boring! I'm at work right now wishing I were magical. I'd cast a spell on a certain someone and make them love me. I just want to touch their skin, their hair. I had dreams about it last night. Jesus, it sucks to want something that will never be possible. I'd rather have no emotion at all than be tortured by the beauty....
Read More
Read More
shaden:
Don't you hate how work always tend to bring about thoughts like that?
The good news is that I rec'd Shaden's prints already. They look great. I will not wait for the "someday" home to hang them. They're going up in the apartment as soon as I get frames.
The bad news is that I took my kitten to the vet today to be neutered. I hate the idea of that, but healthwise, it's better for him. Poor...
Read More
The bad news is that I took my kitten to the vet today to be neutered. I hate the idea of that, but healthwise, it's better for him. Poor...
Read More
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
randomdent:
Poor kitty!
t12117174:
Hopefully, he'll still cuddle with you! I miss my kitties. I need new ones. ex got them. argh.
-t.
-t.
So super bored with my life. I can't stand the unpacked-ness of my apartment, but I can't seem to get motivated to unpack the crap. I never feel as though I have a home. One of my biggest dreams is to someday own a house, so I can stop feeling like an orphan.
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
randomdent:
Someday I'm sure you will own a place and be happy!
shaden:
Hey, thank you for buying some of my prints. I hope they will be hanging in that home you speak of someday.
Maybe I'll be able to convince you to sit in front of my camera someday
Maybe I'll be able to convince you to sit in front of my camera someday
A remake of "Carrie"???? What silly booger thought that was a good idea???
randomdent:
They are remaking that movie? Why???
jora:
No, even worse... a t.v. remake. It was on last night. I taped it. I'll watch it. But I won't like it.
My back is better now. 
On Halloween I stayed home. It was most entertaining to listen to the party at the church on the hill. Loud oldies music and yelling about Jesus for 4 hours. I never knew that Jesus can make one twist and shout. That's what I heard, so it must be true. "Come on all you moms and dads... dance for Jesus!"...
Read More
On Halloween I stayed home. It was most entertaining to listen to the party at the church on the hill. Loud oldies music and yelling about Jesus for 4 hours. I never knew that Jesus can make one twist and shout. That's what I heard, so it must be true. "Come on all you moms and dads... dance for Jesus!"...
Read More
shaden:
wow, Jesus can boogie!? I never would have imagined...
I threw out my back somehow at work yesterday and now I feel like someone kicked me in the back 100 times and left me to die. Things like this make me feel old. Sigh...
VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
t12117174:
First time I fucked up my back, I was, like 17. Working construction. Second time, I was simply putting a screw into a wall to hang something on. I was 18. This, as many things, will pass. it's always inconvenient.
If I could do it all over again, I'd have more sex (hurt like hell, but there was sooo much pleasure in that pain!), eat more ice cream, watch more movies delivered via netflix.
That sounds great about now...... what can I do to throw my back out!?! :-)
<gentle> hugz.. -t.
If I could do it all over again, I'd have more sex (hurt like hell, but there was sooo much pleasure in that pain!), eat more ice cream, watch more movies delivered via netflix.
That sounds great about now...... what can I do to throw my back out!?! :-)
<gentle> hugz.. -t.
jora:
What a nice suprise to hear from t. He does exist.
So, yeah, work sucks. I need a vacation. I'm too depressed to do anything around the house. I haven't unpacked very much yet, and I've been here over a month.
I'm ignoring my mother. I'm still having hateful feelings towords her. She works for the Dark Force. She hurts me and then feels like she wins. I hate it when she wins.
My co-wker was...
Read More
I'm ignoring my mother. I'm still having hateful feelings towords her. She works for the Dark Force. She hurts me and then feels like she wins. I hate it when she wins.
My co-wker was...
Read More
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
shaden:
I hear ya. Sometimes I feel like throwing my office chair out the window at work just to shake the boredom out of me.
Don't you hate it when you see someone you want to photograph but don't have the guts to ask? I'm such a sissy...
Don't you hate it when you see someone you want to photograph but don't have the guts to ask? I'm such a sissy...
jora:
I don't know how I'm doing. Sigh... I'm restless and feel empty. Not fun. Throwing a chair through a window sounds like it would cheer me up. I wish I could let out a random scream in here (at work now).
I hate when people try to have "friendly voice" and they get all squeeky. Jesus, the fakes in this world make me ill.
I hate when people try to have "friendly voice" and they get all squeeky. Jesus, the fakes in this world make me ill.
I've been learning to enjoy the peace that seems to be in my new apartment. It's very weird, but I think I'm starting to like it.
I stupidly bought a new pc game and am back to being a pc game nerd. Nothing like having a little false control.
Had a big fight with my mother. I wish I could erase our whole relationship. She...
Read More
I stupidly bought a new pc game and am back to being a pc game nerd. Nothing like having a little false control.
Had a big fight with my mother. I wish I could erase our whole relationship. She...
Read More
randomdent:
*hug*
Well, the move is finally over. It only took 11 hours, but hey, that's what I get for moving into a 3rd floor apt. The place is huge, which makes me feel small. I don't know what to do in all the peacefulness that surrounds me. I lived in chaos for so long at the other place, and now there is silence and space. I...
Read More
Read More
My life is in turmoil these days. I just all of a sudden decided to break my apartment lease and move. I was hoping for a more peaceful atmosphere. Noise-wise, it is, but if the Maintenance doesn't fix my A/C properly, there will be blood spilled. I am physically ill because of the heat. I am NOT happy. In fact, I am very depressed lately...
Read More
Read More
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
clitilda:
I always find "there there" works for me.. but I hear ya.
ps We're all abnormal freaks. xoxoxox
ps We're all abnormal freaks. xoxoxox
deadhammer:
Yep. If it helps any, I've never met anyone normal. Normal just means that they hide themselves. (Now that's a sad thought!) What seems to hurt the most is not feeling like you've reached a point in your life. Feeling like you're not where you should be. But, again, almost no one I know is where they think they should be. I try and relax. If I can't enjoy it, I just try and get by with as little pain as possible.
Good luck.
(P.S.: "Chin up?" You know Mary Poppins?)
Good luck.
(P.S.: "Chin up?" You know Mary Poppins?)
Hope you feel better soon!
Intelligence is indeed a turnon, too.