jondregiant

Fuck!
I hate being socially inept. I never feel quite so alone as when I am in a large group. It can be worse when there are smatterings of people I know, used to know, or am acquainted with. Makes me feel inhuman.
Today I had a meeting for work and I was unable to go sit with anyone I knew, and no one came to sit next to me. I guess I just put people off. I know my body language doesn't give off an all too inviting feeling, but come on, I'm just another person right?
Sometimes I just get the feeling that I suck at life.

On top of that I ran into two of my most recent ex's there. Awesome as that is. One of them, someone I supported through hard time during and after our relationship wouldnt even look at me. The other, who I freely admit I wasnt the best with, chatted with me a little and even gave me a hug afterwards. Ugh.
The strangest part of that hug was I wanted to hug her, I wanted to kiss her, and i wanted to tell her things I wasnt able to tell her when we were together. Even stranger is that is I got the feeling she felt the same. When we broke the hug, I saw a look in her eyes, felt her hand linger a little too long on my neck. It was hard.

So, I say fuck again. Having a weird day so far SG, I hope it gets better.