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johnstitch

Member Since 2006

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Thursday Nov 20, 2008

Nov 19, 2008
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Close Call No189,000,101
Subject: Me


So I'm printing of some documents to sign for my companies liquidation. They are rather important to the degree that if done incorrectly I could be fined or even go to jail...so pretty fucking important, I don't think I need to dwell on this.

The paper in my printer looks pretty tatty so I go downstairs to get some more. There's a big pile of Woolworth's value stuff in the kitchen that I didn't think I've used yet. The packet was open but I thought nothing of it.

So I print out all the documents and sign them one by one. One of them however has to be witnessed so I lay it on the table downstairs to remind me when Helen comes in.

I then take the rest of the papers and start putting them in an envelope. As I do I drop the whole pile on he kitchen floor which for the record isn't exactly sparkling at the moment. At first I'm pissed off for having wank hands, but almost instantly I notice something out of place. One of the papers lands upside down and there is something written on the bank in huge bold type. It says "ADAM IS A WANK BASTARD FUCK". Upon further inspection many of the papers have similar messages "ADAM IS A FUCKING GAY", "ADAM LICKS HOBO SPUNK" and so on, you get the picture.

Turns out that when I got drunk in chat one night and started abusing The Question, I didn't put the paper I was using to insult him in the bin. No, smart cunt here put it right back in the packet.

..now its definitely in the bin.

Thank fuckng christ for my wank hands.
VIEW 16 of 16 COMMENTS
vortext:
that could have been a serial day in the office for someone called Adam.
Nov 27, 2008
alyk:
Fucking pikeys, dude.

Have you seen Eden Lake? Just let those kids rob you blind, because they will straight up murder your ass.

Nov 28, 2008

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