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johnnydecomposed

baltimore

Member Since 2009

Followers 16 Following 16

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Monday Feb 08, 2010

Feb 8, 2010
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I had the weirdest sensation last night.

So my insomnia has come back, full-fledged. Ridiculous.

I stopped taking my Ambien a good while ago because it is counter-active to weight-loss and it makes me feel stupid. My mental functions have significantly improved since Ive been off it. I had been substituting it for Propanalol and Melatonin.

Pronanalol is not a sleeping medication, in fact it was not originally intended for psychiatric purposes. It is sometimes prescribed to treat social anxiety, as it was for me.

Ive also found that, if taken at bed time, it helps with insomnia for three reasonsit calms the mind (racing thoughts keeps one awake), it causes fatigue, and it slows down heart-rate (which mocks what would happen naturally as one falls asleep).

So, I had been taking the Propanolol and the Melatonin for a while until it seemed that I could sleep without them, which has been a few weeks now.

(As an aside, Melatonin is a naturally occurring chemical that regulates the sleep cycle. Its very safe and over-the-counter. Of course you should consult with your physician before starting any blah blah blah, etc.)

Anyway the sensation I began this whole post to describe last night I couldnt sleep. I tried until 5 am, but was plagued with intrusive thoughts. I finally gave in and knocked back the meds.

Naturally, I took the amount I had been taking the last time I took the meds. The amount I was taking after I had built up a tolerance.

I... felt like I was melting. Which was okay, actually, at first. Melting is okay for someone who desperately wants to fall asleep. The problem wasbecause of course there was a problemmy mind still wouldnt shut-up!

It wasnt sleep paralysis, but it was a similar conceptthe mind is awake, but the body is still or asleep.

So my body was relaxing, going limp, I felt like I was falling asleep, I started snoring, but my mind was still completely conscious, still bothering me with my stupid qualms. Torture!

It didnt last long. Longer than I wanted it to. And of course I was worried that I had done something harmful to myself. But I suppose thats the price of a good nights sleep.



Now, because you have been so kind as to have listened to me rattle on, here's a picture of my dad coming on to you:

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