The stressclouds have broken, finally. I survived the initial chaos of our server upgrade, and my freelance work isn't entirely fucked. Many reasons for sanguinity present themselves:
My brain is a little overclocked, but the motherboard isn't fried. I have a boyfriend and a small collection of lovers and/or possible lovers: a few cute, younger boys mixed in with the older, married ones. (Need to find a cute girl...) My X doesn't despise me. Money is okay. No loved ones off to war, as yet. I have a ringside seat for the prelude to the collapse of an empire, and the failing eyesight to appreciate the view.
So, no despair tonight. The world is my landfill, and nothing about me is biodegradable. I'm all toxic self-creation, a golem of unstable molecules no longer governed by social physics.
Self-loathing to apotheosis in one entry flat. What bipolar? Why binary?
My brain is a little overclocked, but the motherboard isn't fried. I have a boyfriend and a small collection of lovers and/or possible lovers: a few cute, younger boys mixed in with the older, married ones. (Need to find a cute girl...) My X doesn't despise me. Money is okay. No loved ones off to war, as yet. I have a ringside seat for the prelude to the collapse of an empire, and the failing eyesight to appreciate the view.
So, no despair tonight. The world is my landfill, and nothing about me is biodegradable. I'm all toxic self-creation, a golem of unstable molecules no longer governed by social physics.
Self-loathing to apotheosis in one entry flat. What bipolar? Why binary?
VIEW 6 of 6 COMMENTS
your eyes really are mesmerizing. yes I agree. I wish we could have another dinner. . .puhlease. . .i have not friends and to quote Winona Goddess Ryder in Beetlejuice, "I'm utterly alone!" *weep weep*
Well, I have bookie of course. He had his knee surgery on Wednesday. He's moving around now. I'm so relieved.
We've been watching dvd movies on the computer. Lastnight we saw a great movie, "The Fast Runner." The night before, we saw "My Big Fat Greek Wedding." and tonight, we'll probably watch "Mulholland Drive." Wanna come over and watch it with us?
I need to get out more. Did Dee find a job yet? They, as in the roommates, never call us. They don't love us anymore and over some stupid New Years Eve incident.
I need to just cheer up I think. I want to move from Atlanta or even "the States." This place is going to hell. I don't get it.
*sigh* I'm glad your stresses are over. . .I need medication or coffee to get me outta this funk.
*grin* Call me later