I can't deal with the possibility of change right now and yet change is attacking me from all directions. Change in school (after graduation in May), change in location (i think i want to move), do I go to grad school or get a job, change in health habits (this NEEDS to be done and I don't think I can commit), change in relationship status....
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I've been majorly neglecting my poor little blog here. For those with myspace.. I keep up on that one a bit more. And I'm usually good about adding new friends, definitley would add anyone that messages me that they found me on SG!! 
Anyways.. I've been totally confused about life lately. Although I guess it seems I always am. I always run to blogs when...
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Anyways.. I've been totally confused about life lately. Although I guess it seems I always am. I always run to blogs when...
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gamma:
Dare I ask what the root of the depression and loneliness is, or do I already know the answer to that question? I think you need to make a drastic change in your life and worry later about what everyone is going to think. Fuck 'em all I say!
In other news, I'm going to send you a friend request right now for Myspace...even though I'm a Myspace loser and only have about 6 friends
I figure since I PAY for this I should be more attentive to this site...plus there are way cooler people here
In other news, I'm going to send you a friend request right now for Myspace...even though I'm a Myspace loser and only have about 6 friends
I figure since I PAY for this I should be more attentive to this site...plus there are way cooler people here 
gayballs:
I live in guiltworld. It's a rough planet.
Thoughts.....(my reply to a conversation with a friend about their discovering that the world makes us think we NEED to be in a relationship, when really we just end up using each other)
You've recognized the faults in what you've been programmed to believe, but possessing knowledge of the world and having the courage to act upon your new found beliefs are two very separate...
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You've recognized the faults in what you've been programmed to believe, but possessing knowledge of the world and having the courage to act upon your new found beliefs are two very separate...
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gamma:
I have the utmost confidence as I always have that you will be fine taking the trip down there. But, of course, I have to throw in some "older sister" advice: Don't stay in any situation that makes you uncomfortable. And don't "just be comfortable" because you worry what people will think of you. There are way too many weird things that go on in this country. The next trip you better be planning is coming out to visit me!
My last semester is going...I'm slacking, of course. Going to take my teaching licensure tests on Nov.11 (3 days before my b-day...what a gift!) How's school going for you? Getting antsy that next semester is your last??
My last semester is going...I'm slacking, of course. Going to take my teaching licensure tests on Nov.11 (3 days before my b-day...what a gift!) How's school going for you? Getting antsy that next semester is your last??
gamma:
Are you snowed in? I guess that's a silly question, since, if you don't have power you aren't going to be able to write me back 
Hope all is well! 
Hope all is well! Great trip to Pittsburgh this wknd. Trips to Pittsburgh are always a good time cause Jess and I fuckin rock the casbah of the Burgh with our fabulously voluptuous breasts. lol, the fact that I get in everywhere as 24 yr. old Jess helps a bit as well. Crissy and I left a bit late, but got to Pittsburgh about 10pm, stayed at Jess's long...
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Crissy and I left a bit late, but got to Pittsburgh about 10pm, stayed at Jess's long... Read More
gamma:
Those are definitely some fabulously voluptuous breasts
Glad you had an awesome time...about time to hear you're out enjoying yourself!
Glad you had an awesome time...about time to hear you're out enjoying yourself!
Classes started again. I can't believe I'm a senior in college already. This semester is my last one of classes, then this spring I'll be student teaching. I'm looking forward to it, but also a bit scared. It's odd to be almost an "adult" now. I'm not totally sure if I'm ready for that. Next year at this time I could be starting the school...
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gamma:
You should totally take a trip over to Boston! If you do come out this way definitely let me know...we will have such a fun time! Don't feel overwhelmed about the whole adult thing...I mean, does anyone ever REALLY become an adult? Hell, I still don't know what I wanna be when I grow up Relax, hun! You put yourself under so much pressure and there is still so much fun to be had!
How's things otherwise? Still with Crissy?
Relax, hun! You put yourself under so much pressure and there is still so much fun to be had!
How's things otherwise? Still with Crissy?
Well..I'm really not trying to make this my complaint journal. I finally got my papers done, and I feel like I did pretty well on them. As llong as I get at least a C+ in at least one of the classes I'm good for my major and set to graduate on time, this May. Classes start again on Monday, not thrilled about that, but...
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gamma:
Aww sweetie...I have several friends that have PCO so I know what you're going through. My body is falling apart at 28 so don't feel bad...I have adenomyosis (which is extremely painful causing me to want to scrape my uterus out with a spoon). I guess we'll have to form a club for 20-somethings that feel like 80-somethings
I read in the NY Times about that escaped convict in Cassadaga...has your dad been out on the case? I remember you told me he was a state trooper.
I read in the NY Times about that escaped convict in Cassadaga...has your dad been out on the case? I remember you told me he was a state trooper.
Actually loaded a few of my pics from London/Paris. Check out the file. I'll update more later. After the papers from hell are turned in on Monday.
Gamma.. I heart you and miss you muchly.
Gamma.. I heart you and miss you muchly.
gamma:
Awww...I miss you too, sweetie. I've been so bogged down with these summer classes, but I'll be glad when they are done next Wednesday and I will have those 2 requirements done!
I like your pics! I thought the Tower of London was much bigger than that. It doesn't seem like a very torturous place. And happy belated birthday! You must have been thrilled to have spent it in Paris! Lucky!!
I like your pics! I thought the Tower of London was much bigger than that. It doesn't seem like a very torturous place. And happy belated birthday! You must have been thrilled to have spent it in Paris! Lucky!!
Honestly don't know what the fuck's up with me anymore. I swear there must be days when I'm not completely depressed. Those ones just seem to fly by so fast though, and the ones when I'm miserable just last forever. I don't even know what to say anymore. There is most likely no reason for my misery.. but is there ever really? I doubt it.
gamma:
Honey, honey, honey....
You NEED to plan a trip out this way SOON! I take it the change of scenery in Europe didn't help much? I was hoping to see a happier you
You NEED to plan a trip out this way SOON! I take it the change of scenery in Europe didn't help much? I was hoping to see a happier you
London was... an experience. Completely not what I expected, but I learned more about myself and have come to better appreciate the things in my everyday life such as family and homecooked meals, a nice bed, air conditioning, etc. I'll scan some pics in soon.
cereal_killer:
ok, not enough people active in the UpstateSGNY Group for my liking so i'm going around letting people know that there are new members to the group who would feel more welcome if they actually got a few "welcomes."
also, i'm trying to get a darien lake event around for end of aug/beginning of sept possibly. check out the thread in the group for more info and let me know what you think.
C_K
your new (slightly pushier, but well intended) group owner
also, i'm trying to get a darien lake event around for end of aug/beginning of sept possibly. check out the thread in the group for more info and let me know what you think.
C_K
your new (slightly pushier, but well intended) group owner
Well I leave for London on Saturday. I'll return on Saturday July 29th. I'm thrilled, nervous, excited, happy, apprehensive... and more. I'm sure it'll be a good time though. Anyways.. I'll be checking my email, so send me an email, or pm me so it alerts me by email and I should be able to get back to you within a few days. (not sure...
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gamma:
Have a WONDERFUL time!!! I'm sure Europe is going to hold many interesting experiences for you, of which I want ALL the details!! Have a safe trip and email me if you get a chance.
Will miss you
Have a safe trip and email me if you get a chance.
Will miss you
gamma:
YAY! Glad you're back! I bet Europe was awesome and I hope you have lots of good stories to tell! I'll keep checking for an update
I am myself. That is not enough.
Keep the faith, hun