fucking hell. i cant handle anything right now. emotions are mixed and im so fucking pissed at myself for letting thoughts cross and pass my lines of what is ok and not.
i let my guard down and let something in and i cant get it out and im scared as fuck that it will happen again and i dont know what im doing right now and how im going to get over this.
i feel like such an idiot i promised i wasnt going to and then i realized shit and then it happened in my mind or in real life and i dont know whats real and whats not and i cant go back to just being normal and i just needed to rant this out. it doesnt mean alot. dont read much into it, because then youre not understanding me. its not about you or him or that guy, its just about being fucked...
i let my guard down and let something in and i cant get it out and im scared as fuck that it will happen again and i dont know what im doing right now and how im going to get over this.
i feel like such an idiot i promised i wasnt going to and then i realized shit and then it happened in my mind or in real life and i dont know whats real and whats not and i cant go back to just being normal and i just needed to rant this out. it doesnt mean alot. dont read much into it, because then youre not understanding me. its not about you or him or that guy, its just about being fucked...