JIGSAWLON last night was an occasion marked by...
* my getting there before anyone else and hanging out with proprietor benjones on his couch, drinking wine
* browsing through a zombie comic book called LOVE EATS BRAINS
* really wanting to buy a robot painting
* other people arriving, and me teaching this guy how to box after we started talking about Muhammad Ali in "When We Were Kings," and I explained what a right cross was and why it was awesome
* me spilling wine on my shirt
* ben giving me some club soda and me going into the bathroom and taking the shirt off and trying to get the wine out
* ben giving me one of his shirts to wear
* ben suggesting that if the club soda didn't work, I could try white wine, and that he had some in his fridge
* me getting the white wine from the fridge and commenting that it was sort of like I was his girlfriend, since I was wearing his big, half buttoned man-shirt and going through his fridge
* me breaking the cork off in the bottle of wine and proclaiming myself the worst girlfriend ever
* some older British gay guys coming in to look at the art, and leaving before my reading
* us saying "bollocks!" a lot after they left
* my demanding an opening act
* ben pulling out a tiny guitar and performing a song about how amazing it is to take a shower
* ben giving me a megaphone to talk into, and me being surprised that megaphones use an electric charge
* my commenting to the cool girl in the Superman shirt that I thought megaphones were just simple machines, like levers and pulleys
* me sitting on the steps and starting my reading by explaining to the rapt little crowd of strangers sitting on the floor that I was wearing ben's shirt, but I totally didn't sleep with him
* me reading "Headless," a comic monologue from my CD, and people laughing many more times than normal, and me wondering if my comic timing had improved or if people were just drunk
* somebody buying my CD
* me moving back down to the couch and testing out some new jokes
* me talking about my adventures posting fake ads to Craigslist, and then me ending up reading from "Don't Believe Everything on Craigslist," also on my CD
* leaving Jigsaw, and chatting with the guy who bought my CD; I asked what he did, and he said "What don't I do?" and since he was clearly gay, I said "Eat pussy?" and he was like "You are so right!" and we agreed on this point and high-fived
* it turned out that he actually ran some kind of construction company in Jersey, which is the least gay occupation ever
* however, he also runs a hot sauce company
* benjones bought me some dumplings
* and we ate our dumplings on a bench, under the streetlights, and I was drunk and happy
The end.
* my getting there before anyone else and hanging out with proprietor benjones on his couch, drinking wine
* browsing through a zombie comic book called LOVE EATS BRAINS
* really wanting to buy a robot painting
* other people arriving, and me teaching this guy how to box after we started talking about Muhammad Ali in "When We Were Kings," and I explained what a right cross was and why it was awesome
* me spilling wine on my shirt
* ben giving me some club soda and me going into the bathroom and taking the shirt off and trying to get the wine out
* ben giving me one of his shirts to wear
* ben suggesting that if the club soda didn't work, I could try white wine, and that he had some in his fridge
* me getting the white wine from the fridge and commenting that it was sort of like I was his girlfriend, since I was wearing his big, half buttoned man-shirt and going through his fridge
* me breaking the cork off in the bottle of wine and proclaiming myself the worst girlfriend ever
* some older British gay guys coming in to look at the art, and leaving before my reading
* us saying "bollocks!" a lot after they left
* my demanding an opening act
* ben pulling out a tiny guitar and performing a song about how amazing it is to take a shower
* ben giving me a megaphone to talk into, and me being surprised that megaphones use an electric charge
* my commenting to the cool girl in the Superman shirt that I thought megaphones were just simple machines, like levers and pulleys
* me sitting on the steps and starting my reading by explaining to the rapt little crowd of strangers sitting on the floor that I was wearing ben's shirt, but I totally didn't sleep with him
* me reading "Headless," a comic monologue from my CD, and people laughing many more times than normal, and me wondering if my comic timing had improved or if people were just drunk
* somebody buying my CD
* me moving back down to the couch and testing out some new jokes
* me talking about my adventures posting fake ads to Craigslist, and then me ending up reading from "Don't Believe Everything on Craigslist," also on my CD
* leaving Jigsaw, and chatting with the guy who bought my CD; I asked what he did, and he said "What don't I do?" and since he was clearly gay, I said "Eat pussy?" and he was like "You are so right!" and we agreed on this point and high-fived
* it turned out that he actually ran some kind of construction company in Jersey, which is the least gay occupation ever
* however, he also runs a hot sauce company
* benjones bought me some dumplings
* and we ate our dumplings on a bench, under the streetlights, and I was drunk and happy
The end.
skryche:
Ha! Excellent journal entry.
