jcup

So, The trip to Seattle was cool. I wish we had more time and money to really enjoy it, but it was good none the less. It made me miss living there. They tore down the old apartments down town that I use to live at. They put up some fucking officebuilding.(what a waste) I think the pace of Seattle is perfect. It's the only place I feel at home. I need to try to feel that way about Portland. My girl and myself went walking around downtown and went to the burnside skatepark. It was such a nice day. It was one of the best days I've had since I've been here. I think it gave me a little hope for portland. I can see how I could get use to this place. We live in a cool side of town to go see shows. And I can go skate burnside everyday if I wanted. We just need to get out and do more. We complain about being broke, which is a major factor, but alot of the things we want to do doesnt cost money. We need to meet people as well. I have friends here that I just dont call, but I think my girl is in need of some friends. It's funny because Im not too worried about myself or my happiness, because I can do something about that. I really worry about hers. And in most cases there's nothing I can do or say to help. I guess that has just never been something I have ever experienced till now. Im very independent and self controlling, so if I need something or need to change something I do it myself. Since this is the case, I find my self at a loss when someone is unhappy and they dont know what's wrong or what will help. But since we basicly completely share our lives, one cant be happy and the other be miserable. Just doesnt work.We're a great couple, but we're really bad at communicating and comforting. It's strange to share your life with someone. I dont think Im use to that yet. And since were both independent its a really strange senerio. We do well as far as getting along and not argueing and doing stuff together. If there's a problem though, we dont bring it up or even act like it exists even if the other knows. It's kinda like two prisoners chained to each other trying to escape, but one is bleeding and cant really walk but tells the other one "it's fine". The one running can feel that he's dragging a bleeding cellmate behind him so it's pretty obvious that they arent going anywhere. I have needs and she has needs but we dont bother each other with them. Kinda sad actually. It's funny because all of my friends and roommates have expected me to meet their needs to a certain extent. And I've allways been the one to not want to talk, but now I've met my match. Well I dont know why I talked so much about all of this. I guess because I had to think it out. It's nothing that can come to a conclusion, it's just how it is. An observation.

So now for the good part.

1)If you could do ANYTHING anywhere what would you do right now?

=I'd be surfing in the warm ocean in the carribean waiting my food to cook on a barbq pit on the sand

2) What are you doing to make your life better?

=Im changing the things I dont like about myself or want to change i.e.procrastination, smoking, working out

3) What's the best song you've listened to this week?

=364 days by The Murder City Devils