jcup

Just woke up to some bullshit. I cant sleep now...only think. The reoccuring thought is "GET OUT". I feel like a deer who has put up his ears and gets the sense of danger... looks around... and then at that instant realizes that he's in a field surrounded by hunters. I don't know what exactly is wrong, but I can sense it. I haven't felt so out of place and disturbed like this in a long time. It's strange. I feel like there's no one I can talk to, or even want to talk to. It's like a numbness and a sadness mixed. It's been said many times that Im a cold person. I feel cold right now. I could be left alone and not talk to anyone and I would be fine. The feeling right now is that of just not caring. I think that this is my subconsious telling me that Im in an unhealthy situation, and things need to change. One thing I know is that alot of thinking and very little talking is in the near future. I dont know if I want this to go away. I think it will help me figure out things and do whatever it is I need to do.