jcup

This has been an unusual week. I didnt get shit done, or do anything to help get closer to my goals. I wouldnt say it was bad, but it sure as hell wasnt good. I have treated my body like shit the last few days. I think that I needed those days to be a fuckup. My girl and myself have been bummed and stressed lately because it seems as though we work and try hard to make things happen for us, but we still are broke and doing the same thing. It feels so fucking monotanously boring. Like we're just slaves to the grind that arent moving and changing. What sucks even more is that our work schedules conflict, so we dont get to spend real time together. We're tired of knowing what we're going to have to do everyday, and seeing that it doesnt change. We really need change.
I dont want to be whining about a bunch of shit...doesnt help anything. I think the lesson for me from the last few days is that I dont want to feel trapped and hopeless about my current situation, yet getting fucked up and trying to feel different by ignoring the problem doesnt help. I dont want to be like that either. I feel guilty about the last few days. If I feel guilty to myself, then its obviously a bad way to go. I want to feel empowered and in control of my life. I want to have control of my happiness basicly. I need to have only positive people in my circle. I want to start making things happen for us. That cant happen if I get off the path. That reminds me of my friend's tattoo. He got DISTRACT going down the side of his torso. He did this to remind him everyday that drugs, partying, and alot of the things we do are just distractions in the way of your goals and your path of life. It's not that these things are bad... they just dont help you get closer to want you really want to obtain.
Today, Im getting back on my path.
Wow, long journal entry. Guess I have alot on my mind. I feel like a motivational speaker or something. Im my own cheerleader. Anyways, off to get shit done.