jazzcoffeelover

This blog is going to be about my shitty experiences with men and relationships in general but mostly just with men. I feel that practically all the relationships I know are based on a foundation of lies and mutually accepted delusion. I purchased a book a couple months back called "Why Men Love Bitches" the sad thing about purchasing this book is that I was trying to get tips on how to keep someone in my life who even at this point should be kicked to the curb. In this book it pretty much said to play dumb and let the man chase you. This is ludacris. Maybe that is what guys want but right now in my life I do not want a serious relationship. Dating seems like to much work, when both parties are just trying to get down one anothers pants. Am I simply romantically challenged, or am I a slut? This is so unfair! Just because I enjoy having sex and I am not in a commited relationship I am a slut, I am easy because I will sleep with a guy on the first night. Did anyone ever think maybe I was using him? Maybe I was trying to get into his pants? I feel that waiting around to see if a guy is worthu of giving yourself to is a waste of time and energy. A guy can just as easily dump you if you fuck him on the first date as he can if you wait until the tenth. I do not think it is the rules you need to follow; the men need to change. They need to grow up, they need to learn on how to be nice human beings.
However, one thing that book did teach me and I think the only words it should have had is respect yourself, value yourself, time and pleasure before a mans. Never drop what you are doing to please him or change your plans to accomadate him. Live your life and be you. I think this is why men have been treating me like shit. I choose to go the extra mile. I am the nice girl that dotes on you hand and foot. I relized that when you know your self worth and what you want, a man can not disrespect or take advantage of you. Now that I realize this, how do I fix it? I would like to believe I love myself. My self esteem is at the highest it has ever been in my life. I have never had a good relationship with men; whether it be a relative, a friend or a lover. However, I can not use that as an excuse to allow myself to keep being treated like shit. This is one reason I will not be talking with my ex. When a relationship breaks down because he wasnt treating you good, do not agree to be friends with him as friends treat each other better than that. I am not going to be treated like this anymore! I just need to know that after all, computers crash, people die, relationships fall apart. The best we can do is breath and reboot
I am going to realize that when real people fall down in life, they get right back up and keep walking! This is what I am going to do except with a swagger and a smile. I am going to live life. I realized that I am young, I want to experiment. I have always been attracted to females so I might date one. I am not going to label myself any of these ridiculous thigs like lesbian or bi sexual. Shit I am a trisexual. I'll try anything once. Who cares anyway what society thinks of you as long as you are just enjoying being you.