it's nights like tonight I have a million things running through my head, but no words to articulate them. I am feeling so much, tonight in particular. frusteration, pain, love, confusion, anxiety
maybe I should just sleep it away until I have to get up for work tomorrow morning. I don't know what to do with it all. sometimes I am afraid to sleep when I'm feeling like this, afraid that it'll infiltrate into my dreams. when i dream, it carries into my feelings as I wake up. it's a cycle that never ends.
I need some answers. I need to get out of here. I need to put some things behind me. I need to run into my future. but I have to finish a few things before I can do that. I want to dive in head first and never look back. is that really so much to ask? perhaps.
I wish someone could look into my eyes and know what I am thinking, they would know so I wouldn't have to try to tell them. sometimes it's just too much to make the pain come out. but I know, it's all part of the process, part of the learning and growing. a necessary evil.
where is my heart. will you find it and hold on tight? it's been lonely far too long.
i need to cry for hours. it's overdue.
i need to start fresh, a bit of patience to make it through the coming year. it could be the longest in ages.
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A dark wing lifting my umbrella.
The birds opress me,
singing
in spite of the rain that falls
through ravished leaves,
the moon
diminished, sailing over trees
like a sad note.
Why this barbaric
din of beak and claw gripping
broken branches,
the mind's skin
stretched across black spokes
rooted to my hand.
maybe I should just sleep it away until I have to get up for work tomorrow morning. I don't know what to do with it all. sometimes I am afraid to sleep when I'm feeling like this, afraid that it'll infiltrate into my dreams. when i dream, it carries into my feelings as I wake up. it's a cycle that never ends.
I need some answers. I need to get out of here. I need to put some things behind me. I need to run into my future. but I have to finish a few things before I can do that. I want to dive in head first and never look back. is that really so much to ask? perhaps.
I wish someone could look into my eyes and know what I am thinking, they would know so I wouldn't have to try to tell them. sometimes it's just too much to make the pain come out. but I know, it's all part of the process, part of the learning and growing. a necessary evil.
where is my heart. will you find it and hold on tight? it's been lonely far too long.
i need to cry for hours. it's overdue.
i need to start fresh, a bit of patience to make it through the coming year. it could be the longest in ages.
----------------------------------------
A dark wing lifting my umbrella.
The birds opress me,
singing
in spite of the rain that falls
through ravished leaves,
the moon
diminished, sailing over trees
like a sad note.
Why this barbaric
din of beak and claw gripping
broken branches,
the mind's skin
stretched across black spokes
rooted to my hand.
VIEW 8 of 8 COMMENTS
i am sorry that you are going through so much right now. i wish that i was there to comfort you. just let it all out and you will see more clearly, i promise. it is okay to be afraid and to be confused and sad. just let it all go and appreciate those emotions so that you can get to the good stuff. you will be back on the upswing again soon.
xoxo
-missy