jaybugg

I am so sick of my self.. WHY WHY WHY do i not follow my instincts when something feels wrong? The doctors back home said i had a slight paranoia disposition, what ever the fuck that meant, and That my feelings when I am uncertain are wrong more than usual, b/c of me being so paranoid towards things I enjoy.

Yet almost every time I...
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GOD IS GOING TO KILL YOU ONE DAY!!!........ Or syphilis will anyways.

I saw the ledge, swore it was there.
My step up
but I conceived of it only in my mind
and I placed my faith upon it
I have to remember what was there is there
its all in my mind
My faith will not slip

A friend wrote that. She is very intelligent.

I am currently listening to george carlin's new cd, Life is Worth Losing. People should be forced to listen to him. If you don't like him? Fuck you up the ass

I think I learned the whole put up my stupid pics thing. so if anyone actually does look at my page, by all means go check in pics section and leave some love. or hate.-J

R.I.P Alan Shalleck, Thank you for your devotion to one of my favorite cartoons. I loved Curious George and always will.

If it is, as it is looking, a murder, I hope the person(s) responsible are dragged out into the road and beaten to death over the course of a week.

writing a fucking book is hard work. and you know whats creepy. looking through this site, at a photoshoot, and your fucking mom IMs you. suddenly its not as fun. jus weird.

Where do I even Begin
You were my best friend, my diamond
a person I could always confide in
someone I always loved without trying
so when I found out you were leaving me
I felt like dying, hitting me so hard it was blinding
i just couldnt stop the hurt and crying
Im so sick with the fact that
you might never come back...
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"Existentialism is the one thought process that will hopefully show humanity to take
responsibility for itself and its actions. To finally stop pointing fingers at scapegoats
and mythologies. To come to reason that we alone have to accept our own consequences.
For better or for worse, can we then break the bonds of misled, outside sources of
morality and realize that it comes from oneself...
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So yes. I have finally started my book I have been writing....Well in my head. but now its in TYPE form!! woo woo. IF you have ever read Nasuea. Then think of how that book went. mine is similar, but of course won't be anywhere near to the level of work that is. But it's nice to try.

Broken boy...
Do as I say
Sit down
Shut up
Lay down
Give up
throwing sands of time at you
wanting you to go away...
No more future for us at all
No more suffering...
No one to one to catch you
No one to help break your fall...

Im tired of this,
Lovestruck,
Lovesick,
Bull shit
Fake friendship
Cant cope
cant quit
Wont give...
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Time to put stuff i write up.....


A hug by the class room door
Remembered your fragrances the whole time
Flannel I bought caressed my face all the night
I moved only for a short time with you on paper
Never wrote just a thought on my mind
Softball thrown gave you a life ahead of me
Thank you for always looking down the hall...
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