Years back on myspace I was called "intense". When I read it almost sounded sexual. I remember feeling the warm on skin against mine. Nipple on bar chest rolled up to my closed mouth to the tip of my nose. The line that made me think it came out as "I want to paint like I'm fucking." Picked up this huge canvas ....first time ever in 2002. A 10 x 10 ft monster laid open and raw in my shared art school studio. My heart raced when I painted on it and my feet crushed on the edges of ladders painting the angles. I never loved the painting when it was done but the memory of making, it is like the first time I saw a nude figure in a room full of artists.
There was the party we had that almost got us kicked out one Fall. We drank and posed for each other nude. I had never been naked in front of a group but the beers gave me bravery. At the end of the night people were walking around in PBR box dresses and tops...and crowns. We would have gotten away with it but smokers love to smoke and so standing outside in boxes as clothing were the smokers and overcame campus security. I slept on a beach chair in the studio that night and dreamt of blue women covered in tattoos. I think that is how it all started.
