I have been making some very personal changes in my life. I have been struggling with some pretty big things. Dark things from my past and major insecurities in my personal life.
I am always being told "you have it so put together" or " if anyone can handle it all its you" Well as much as those phrases make me feel like I rock, I don't. I fail daily. I struggle with simple task. I am just now learning to take the time to decide what's best for me. I have been through a lot and that does make me stronger but also makes me Fragile at the same time. I am always on struggle away from falling or cracking. I want to be there for others at all times but sometimes I don't even know how to be here for myself.
I have recently Come to realization I am struggling a nasty battle against anxiety and depression. It sucks the big one. They (anxiety and depression) have taken so much from me. I lost friends due to irrational thinking. I have pushed away family members. I have put so much stress on my husband but he has stood strong for both of us. I failed my kiddos by not being there and not listening. This is a hard one I basically did what was required do keep everyone alive and I did not enjoy it.
I put on my happy face. I get dressed. I smile and wave. It's literally exhausting to do Normal life task. I am coming out of my cloud. Life is becoming clearer. I am enjoying the blessings in my life. I have rekindled friendships. I have started caring for my husband again and sharing the load. I have done nothing but enjoy my children. Play with them ask them questions and listen to the answers. I just wanted to put this out here. I want to say "hey, people struggle and it's ok!" Someone recently said to me "this is a season. Soon this season will pass and you will have a new one." Those words have stuck with me! So wish me luck as I continue through this season.
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lord_renob:
Good luck and Godspeed along your travels and travails in life. Sounds like you've fought your demons and kicked their asses. Is the fight over? No, sadly it never will be but you definitely are on the right path. @};-
alphadirewolf75:
I know all about depression. If you ever need to talk, I will be here for ya. Stay safe and healthy and have fun.