janegeraldine

Today, I am having the worst PTSD episode I have ever had. I think I am having it because I have had more sleep this week and thus have had more dreams, which is where my PTSD primarily manifests. I can't talk to anyone, even those I want to because I just CAN'T. I woke up a screaming, crying mess this morning with no one to talk to. Talking helps bring me down from the episode and when I don't have that, I start to freak out, plain and simple. Since I can't bring myself to talk to anyone right now, I'm using this blog as an outlet. The dream is horrible. It is always the same and never gets any easier to explain. He is after me in a huge place full of mirrors. I run and I run and I can never get far enough away. I can see in the mirror that he is sneaking up on me and I can watch myself begin to scream as he reaches around me to cover my mouth with his hand. I wake up knowing I was once again unable to escape. It is honestly the most terrifying thing I have experienced. It brings back feelings that are just now starting to lessen their hold. I apologize for being such an emotional mess lately. I promise to stop soon.