As promised I said I would write a blog of my childhood to all one of you. AT 4:06 am, on June 21st. Here it is:

AGE 4 OR 5:

''Hi! I'm Robert Doe (not real last name), and I'm doing my C'S!" I greeted 3 kids that came to my hospital bedside.

Let's back things up a bit. I was at that hospital because my real father drew up a hot bath for me and told me to get in. I screamed and my father rushed from his room to the bathroom and took me out put some cream on me and wrapped my feet in woman's pads. He reached the door when my mother opened it to come in who was returning from work. I was rushed to the hospital and that was the last time I saw my father. 3rd degree burns on my feet that are still visible to this day.

Little did I know that greeting would forever haunt me. Those 3 kids became my foster brothers and sister. The youngest was too shy to greet me and stayed with her mother and father who were waiting outside the room.

Right away the abuse started to happen. I was soon locked into a crib-like device so I couldn't go get food whenever I wanted. I wasn't allowed to play with my new brothers and sisters (4 in all at the time 2 older 2 younger).

I went from being a child to being a slave in no time at all.

AGE 6-7: By this time I was accustomed to saying, ''What do you want me to do now ma'am.'' I was also used to receiving new ''punishments''. I'll get to those later. I cleaned dog kennels, trained german shepherds, and fed the dogs (25+ dogs). These dogs were sold for 1,000.00 a pop. They had fraudulent AKC papers which is why the high price. I also took take of the cats (30+) out in Southern California. Then I cleaned the house and did the laundry and washed the dishes. This happened while I was still in foster care and received regular visits from the agency. I was still in school at this time.

AGE 8: I was adopted. It was also around the time when I started a relationship with my now adopted sister who was a year older then me.

Let's back that part up a bit. How it started was she had asked me to practice on a doll how I would kiss a girl. By this time our friendship had grown strong. I was always always helping her with her homework and helping her read better. Mind you she was in grade higher then me. She seemed to always ask me how to spell. I was always nice to her as well. Anyway back to the doll. It was a baby doll not a barbie doll. I told her I couldn't and needed a real girl to practice on. Soon we were in my older brother's room on his bed making out and pretending we were husband and wife and my younger brother and sister were our kids. Basically playing house. It was the strangest thing to me at the time tasting her tongue. Still is to this day. We had played house long enough (this had been going on for maybe a week? maybe longer?) and were on the verge of having sex after taking care of neighbor's horses one day, we were going to have sex we decided. That's when we were told on. My life went from bad to worse.

AGE 10: I was in the 3rd grade. At a private Christian school. I was the first on in my grade to complete the multiplication table from memory. Remember that doing that in school? lol. I was so proud of myself when I did that. I was doing forth grade work in the third grade. I was even smarter then the fourth graders that were doing 4th grade work. What can I say? I enjoyed learning. Little did I know it would be the last grade I completed until age 18.

AGE 12: In December of 97' we moved from Southern California to Wolcott New York. Trip took 13 or 14 days in a U-haul and an RV. By this time there were 4 adopted kids and 4 of their own. 8 total kids, 2 adults, 8 dogs, 13 cats. Everyone loaded into an RV except the father and his own two boys. I was forced to drink urine during that trip.

This is where I will end the blog. I'll start my New York life in the next one. So so so so very much was omitted from this blog. Like Vegas (yeah baby!) and the beaches and all the amusement parks and camping trips. But also the ''punishments''. And the broken limb. And whodunnit all. Things go from down hill and straight to hell from here.

If you read it, thank you. Stay tuned. It's now 5:23am and I haven't slept a wink yet. Night night.