THERE WAS AN OLD MAID FROM NANTUCKET
WITH AN ASSHOLE AS BIG AS A BUCKET
WHILE BENT OVER THE OVEN,
A'DREAMIN OF LUVIN'........................
HER GOAT SEIZED THE MOMENT TO FUCK
IT.
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
THERE WAS AN OLD MAID FROM NANTUCKET
WITH AN ASSHOLE AS BIG AS A BUCKET
WHILE BENT OVER THE OVEN,
A'DREAMIN OF LUVIN'........................
HER GOAT SEIZED THE MOMENT TO FUCK
IT.
CRAWLING AWAY FROM THIS WEEKEND.
............................. ai mommie.
GOD DAMN I LOVE MY FAMILY.
(special thankx to D.D.D )
(and , of course ,.................. ....team 6 deep)
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
kudra:
thanks
noelani:
Hello luv. Got your message last night around 3am. called but I think I wrote the number down wrong. call me back. 
AH PORTLAND...........................................
A BIG OL F*&$%CK YES TO L , BIG DIRTY, KUDRA , FAITH , AND EVERYONE ELSE WHO FED ME BLOODY MARYS AND KEPT ME SEMI-UPRIGHT ALL WEEKEND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
YOU GUYZ ROCK FER SURE.
ALL I CAN REALLY SAY IS.........
OOOOHH OOOOO AHHH UH I OHHHH........., UH-OH.
AND OF COURSE......................WOOOOOF.
A BIG OL F*&$%CK YES TO L , BIG DIRTY, KUDRA , FAITH , AND EVERYONE ELSE WHO FED ME BLOODY MARYS AND KEPT ME SEMI-UPRIGHT ALL WEEKEND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
YOU GUYZ ROCK FER SURE.
ALL I CAN REALLY SAY IS.........
OOOOHH OOOOO AHHH UH I OHHHH........., UH-OH.
AND OF COURSE......................WOOOOOF.
VIEW 8 of 8 COMMENTS
kudra:
dammit, dammit. I just typed you a huge message and accidentally deleted it. I hate that. So I'll just ask if you have anything fun going on this weekend. I am half tempted to drive up there. My good friend Steve is up there from Phoenix. So close, yet so far away.
I'm going karaoke tomorrow with Seann
It's been forever. I'm so excited.
I'm going karaoke tomorrow with Seann
It's been forever. I'm so excited.
kudra:
Don't worry, I was just fantasizing about coming up there. Believe me, if I'm ever coming to Seattle you will probably be the first to know.
And yea, I have your number.
How was your weekend?
And yea, I have your number.
How was your weekend?
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN...................
THE JAGER FAIRY IS OFFICIALLY A WALKING MENACE...........................
burnt my f*#@$ing lips off eating fire drunk , after pulling every muscle in my body wrestling a damn pile of naked women in jello , then got 6 hours of ink ground into my upper arm , afterwards which I pounded 8 or 9 shots and puked into a fountain , then proceeded...
Read More
THE JAGER FAIRY IS OFFICIALLY A WALKING MENACE...........................
burnt my f*#@$ing lips off eating fire drunk , after pulling every muscle in my body wrestling a damn pile of naked women in jello , then got 6 hours of ink ground into my upper arm , afterwards which I pounded 8 or 9 shots and puked into a fountain , then proceeded...
Read More
noelani:
where in the sweet lords name do you get all of this ambrosia and jello?? 
Good hearing from you lady...it was funny and I laughed.
Have fun this weekend.
Good hearing from you lady...it was funny and I laughed.
Have fun this weekend.
greggster:
Now that sounds like a good time...do it till it hurts I always say ( not really )
And yes indeed it was starring the one and only Bridgette the Midget
And yes indeed it was starring the one and only Bridgette the Midget
JAGER FAIRY'S 10 DAYZ OFF CHECKLIST............
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
1:wrestle in jello.....................check
2:drink an innordinate amount ..................check
3:6 hrs. of new ink in one shot................check
4:leave several drunken, filthy, and unintelligible messages on L's voice mail............(heh heh)check
5:spend day doing nothing but leering at SG ladies..........check check check
6:give Portland sumthin' to remember.............??????
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
1:wrestle in jello.....................check
2:drink an innordinate amount ..................check
3:6 hrs. of new ink in one shot................check
4:leave several drunken, filthy, and unintelligible messages on L's voice mail............(heh heh)check
5:spend day doing nothing but leering at SG ladies..........check check check
6:give Portland sumthin' to remember.............??????
VIEW 8 of 8 COMMENTS
tarbaby:
i fucking love you-will you marry me? or we could just go on a drunken 50 state crime spree....
greggster:
I was telling Trixie about a midget porn we bought while on tour. It was called "the littlest squirt"
That was one dirty lil hussy for sure.
When I saw her get it good while lying on the arm of a sofa. Oh man good times
[Edited on Jul 23, 2003]
That was one dirty lil hussy for sure.
When I saw her get it good while lying on the arm of a sofa. Oh man good times
[Edited on Jul 23, 2003]
LAST NIGHT I DRANK ENOUGH TO INTOXICATE A HERD OF IRISH MIDGETS AND WRESTLED 6 NAKED WOMEN IN A GIANT VAT OF AMBROSIA SALAD.
TODAY I LOOK LIKE AN OOMPA LOOMPA WITH MARSHMELLOWS UP IT'S ASS.
BUT AM I SMILING?..................................
INDEED.
azura:
hmmm an oopma loompa w/ a marshmallow up its ass....
wonder what happens if you stick him in the microwave?
smile on dudes
wonder what happens if you stick him in the microwave?
smile on dudes
comming up on 10 days of bliss.......................
from drunken lawn gnome minature golf , to devilish disco and ambrosia salad wrestling.................
let's finish it up with one hell of a firey road trip , eh???
trouble , trouble , trouble.
better watch out people.
(and you knowwwwwwwww who you are.................)
heh heh. 
from drunken lawn gnome minature golf , to devilish disco and ambrosia salad wrestling.................
let's finish it up with one hell of a firey road trip , eh???
trouble , trouble , trouble.
better watch out people.
(and you knowwwwwwwww who you are.................)
heh heh.
VIEW 11 of 11 COMMENTS
greggster:
And here is a joke for ya
One day Little Johnny's mom was cleaning his room. In the closet, she found a bondage S&M magazine. This was *highly* upsetting to her. She hid the magazine until his father got home. When Little Johnny's father walked in the door, she irately handed the magazine to him, and said, "THIS is what I found in "your" son's closet."
He looked at it and handed it back to her without a word.
Several minutes passed, then she finally asked him,
"Well what should we do about this?"
Little Johnny's dad looked at her and said, "Well I don't think you should spank him."
One day Little Johnny's mom was cleaning his room. In the closet, she found a bondage S&M magazine. This was *highly* upsetting to her. She hid the magazine until his father got home. When Little Johnny's father walked in the door, she irately handed the magazine to him, and said, "THIS is what I found in "your" son's closet."
He looked at it and handed it back to her without a word.
Several minutes passed, then she finally asked him,
"Well what should we do about this?"
Little Johnny's dad looked at her and said, "Well I don't think you should spank him."
kudra:
aaaaah, I was hoping you guys were chain spinners. But yea, I would love to show you some stuff. I'm told I make it easy to understand. If you don't have any chains bring two balls of socks and a couple of long show laces.
PS--you said sp, leibach, bigod20, pasty cline, this mortal coil, coil, stevie nicks, and mazzy star!! its love for me and you already.
[Edited on Jul 18, 2003]
PS--you said sp, leibach, bigod20, pasty cline, this mortal coil, coil, stevie nicks, and mazzy star!! its love for me and you already.
[Edited on Jul 18, 2003]
DUE TO THE COLLABERATIVE EFFORTS OF FILTHY TALK , TASTELESS HUMOR , THE SOUNDTRACK TO POOTYTANG , A 3 1/2 LBS. LOBSTER, AND A CERTAIN FRIENDLY WAITRESS , .........................
I NOW FEEL MUCH BETTER.
THANKS TO ALL WHO PARTICIPATED
(especially the lobster who lost it's life in the process , and the waitress who almost did apparently , as she claims to have seen God)...
Read More
I NOW FEEL MUCH BETTER.
THANKS TO ALL WHO PARTICIPATED
(especially the lobster who lost it's life in the process , and the waitress who almost did apparently , as she claims to have seen God)...
Read More
VIEW 8 of 8 COMMENTS
dave_h:
wow I got very little memory of talking to you. which sucks cus I've heard so much about you. I spent a dsecnt part of the eveing introducing the boy to freinds of mine at the bar next door to the place he's staying at.
so I can't wait to meet you. some day. I'm very drunk right now.
[Edited on Jul 14, 2003]
so I can't wait to meet you. some day. I'm very drunk right now.
[Edited on Jul 14, 2003]
dave_h:
wow I'm so drunk I have no memory wrint that previous entry. which wasn't that long ago.
wow vey drunk. I heard good things about you. can I be your freind?
wow vey drunk. I heard good things about you. can I be your freind?
permanently on deck , in sun , drink in hand..............
endless parade of scantilly clothed (and sometimes semi-concious) ladies.....................
I am the sunburnt rockstar.
feeling strangely broken.
ack.
somebody say sumthin dirty to cheer me up eh..........
-JF
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
greggster:
ok....couldnt wait...here is another
One day, during a lesson on proper grammar, the teacher asked for a show of hands for who could use the word "beautiful" in the same sentence twice. First, she called on little Suzy, who responded with, "My father bought my mother a beautiful dress and she looked beautiful in it."
"Very good, Suzy," replied the teacher. She then called on little Michael.
"My mommy planned a beautiful banquet and it turned out beautifully," he said.
"Excellent, Michael!" Then, the teacher called on little Johnny.
"Last night, at the dinner table, my sister told my father that she was pregnant, and he said, 'Beautiful, fucking beautiful!'"
One day, during a lesson on proper grammar, the teacher asked for a show of hands for who could use the word "beautiful" in the same sentence twice. First, she called on little Suzy, who responded with, "My father bought my mother a beautiful dress and she looked beautiful in it."
"Very good, Suzy," replied the teacher. She then called on little Michael.
"My mommy planned a beautiful banquet and it turned out beautifully," he said.
"Excellent, Michael!" Then, the teacher called on little Johnny.
"Last night, at the dinner table, my sister told my father that she was pregnant, and he said, 'Beautiful, fucking beautiful!'"
greggster:
ok one more for good measure....
A guy comes home from the bar drunk one night around 3 in the morning. His wife is sleeping and he is trying to sneak into bed. He's laying in bed for a few minutes and cuts a fart. His wife wakes up and asks, "What in the world was that?"
He replies, "Touchdown, I am winning 7 nothing."
She thinks to herself, "I'm gonna fix him." Then she lets one loose.
He yells at her, "What was that?"
She replies "Touchdown, tie score."
Now he thinks, "I'm gonna fix her." He's laying there for about 10 minutes trying to work one up. He tries so hard he shits in bed.
The wife asks, "Now what in the world was that?"
He replied, "Half time, switch sides."
A guy comes home from the bar drunk one night around 3 in the morning. His wife is sleeping and he is trying to sneak into bed. He's laying in bed for a few minutes and cuts a fart. His wife wakes up and asks, "What in the world was that?"
He replies, "Touchdown, I am winning 7 nothing."
She thinks to herself, "I'm gonna fix him." Then she lets one loose.
He yells at her, "What was that?"
She replies "Touchdown, tie score."
Now he thinks, "I'm gonna fix her." He's laying there for about 10 minutes trying to work one up. He tries so hard he shits in bed.
The wife asks, "Now what in the world was that?"
He replied, "Half time, switch sides."
WEEKEND EXPERIMENT:................................
JUST HOW MANY SAUCY LADIES IN BIKINIS CAN I FIT ON MY DECK AT ONE TIME???...........................
LOVE IS PIZZA ,LIQUOR, WATER BALLOONS AND WET WOMEN.
GO TEAM AQUA TERRORISM!!!!!!!!!!!!!
-JF
JUST HOW MANY SAUCY LADIES IN BIKINIS CAN I FIT ON MY DECK AT ONE TIME???...........................
LOVE IS PIZZA ,LIQUOR, WATER BALLOONS AND WET WOMEN.
GO TEAM AQUA TERRORISM!!!!!!!!!!!!!
-JF
VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
greggster:
ouch....
greggster:
completely understandable.....please forgive my lack of spelling.
It a completely justified bashing.
but yes "JAGER" is damn good
It a completely justified bashing.
but yes "JAGER" is damn good
OOOOOOOHHHHHH CANADAAAAAA.................
(come on now kids , sing along)
things learned this week....................
#1:jager shots and a bloody mary for breakfast is not as bad as it sounds.
#2:always bring a tattoo artist with you on every adventure.
#3:never tell a customs agent "oh it's ok , I'm her pimp"
#4:strap-ons are just as expensive , even with a good exchange rate.
GO TEAM DEBAUCHERY!!!!!!...
Read More
(come on now kids , sing along)
things learned this week....................
#1:jager shots and a bloody mary for breakfast is not as bad as it sounds.
#2:always bring a tattoo artist with you on every adventure.
#3:never tell a customs agent "oh it's ok , I'm her pimp"
#4:strap-ons are just as expensive , even with a good exchange rate.
GO TEAM DEBAUCHERY!!!!!!...
Read More
noelani:
I want my own personal tattoo artist. I'd keep them in a nice cage, and very well groomed.
Sounds like you guys had fun. Did the Birthday boy get spankings??
You don't even wanna know what I learned this week...
Sounds like you guys had fun. Did the Birthday boy get spankings??
You don't even wanna know what I learned this week...
leavemehere:
ill send you some jagermeister related gifts to your email
if you send me a email
yay! jagermeister
if you send me a email
yay! jagermeister
HEH HEH HEH
TROUBLE ON THE LOOSE.............
WILL i SURVIVE THE NEXT 6 DAYZ????
NOOOOBODY KNOWZZZZZ.....................
-JF
TROUBLE ON THE LOOSE.............
WILL i SURVIVE THE NEXT 6 DAYZ????
NOOOOBODY KNOWZZZZZ.....................
-JF
littledeadkid:
whuts the next 6 days?
ohhhh well if i new where u were then id say come with me to start some trouble
[Edited on Jun 25, 2003]
ohhhh well if i new where u were then id say come with me to start some trouble
[Edited on Jun 25, 2003]
noelani:
Uh Oh...
Hmmm....Lovely Creature...Monday...???? I think we may be able to work something out.....
Are you up to Vancouver??? Give the birthday boy a spankin from me.
Hmmm....Lovely Creature...Monday...???? I think we may be able to work something out.....
Are you up to Vancouver??? Give the birthday boy a spankin from me.
I got my baby kitten tonight! He needs to fed a little bit still with a dropper! He is adorable!