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ivylina

Russia

SG Since 2015

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bloghomework 4/8: Don't be afraid to say "no"

Apr 11, 2016
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Hello there, everyone! This homework is going to be somewhat deep, cause the topic is pretty deep itself: "What is something you wish you'd learned sooner?". Well, my answer is pretty simple - I wish I'd learned sooner how to say "no" to people.

As a generally friendly person, who's trying to avoid even a minor conflict I've always found it hard to say "no" to people I love and care for. Whenever someone asked for a favor I couldn't or didn't have enough time to do, for some money I didn't have to borrow, even for going to hang out in a club when I all I felt like doing was chilling in my bed watching some tv show, I just couldn't pull "no, sorry, I can't do that" out of myself for some, let's be honest, dumb reason. I was afraid to offend the person or to make him/her sad, or dissapoint that person, or that was my tutor and I was afraid to stop being considered a good student. So what I did was say "yes, sure, let's see what I can do" and then just jump out of my ass trying to find time and resources to fullfil the request I could have done amazing without.

So, I felt really angry, angry at myself for agreeing, angry at the person for asking, angry at not being thanked enough afterwards, just one huge big ANGRY! And then I just got sooo0 tired of it, that I said STOP! You just shouldn't agree to anything your friends, family, colleagues ask you to do when you can't/don't want to do it. You shouldn't share love and positive vibes and yourself because you OUGHT TO, you do that because you feel like doing that to certain people. And whenever you don't feel like that, just say "no". If this person loves you back, cares for you, he or she won't be offended, won't be dissapointed, pretty much NOTHING WILL HAPPEN, everything will stay as it was. If it doesn't, then you might consider thinking about what holds this person close to you: affection or maybe something else? This something else might make you consider not even having this person around you or for keeping a nice distance with him/her for your own good. It's a pretty old saying that one good friend is better than a hundred of "nah" ones.

As soon as I realised all that and was not afraid to say "no" anymore, life's just got so much better! Yes, I lost some people, but you know what, I don't even regret I did :)

@missy @rambo @lyxzen

p.s. enjoy this lovely meme, cause it just fits perfectly :D

VIEW 18 of 18 COMMENTS
adoado:
Wise words , beautiful lady.
Apr 18, 2016
midnight:
Wow def a lesson worth learning. It's frustrating cause the sweetest of ppl sometimes get stuck in the trap of always saying yes!!
Apr 29, 2016

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