mine is generally incredibly hectic. I don't think that is going to change any time soon. I can't remember any time in my life where things were "calm" as it were.
oh, as far as the comment I made about feeling guilty.. I used to use meth constantly (however I never smoked or injected). I didn't have too much problems divorcing myself from using it. I am SO lucky when it comes to drugs. I ended up actually using some black tar heroin once.. I am so incredibly lucky I didn't get addicted. Ive seen what heroin can do to people, and it scares the hell out of me. Im incredibly thankful that one time didn't lead to a life of heroin.
I just got home from a show at the pound in SF. I saw sawa's band- WATCH ME BURN, Cattle Decapitation, The Black Dahlia Murder, and Vital Remains. I got to briefly speak with and meet sawa - it was short and sweet being that I was lacking things to say. Let me say- her band was awesome. She really fucking rocks! The world... Read More
I got this e-mail from the lady who interviewed me the other day for the teacher postion. In order for my hours to work and for me to do school I will have to begin as a sub. I was expecting that- so no surprise there. But if i get the job i can do more later if i'd like....
Tee-Hee I remember the first time I went over to your house and you introduced me to your brother. Soon after you asked me if I wanted to see him in his dress. LOL
So In my pics there are two pictures taken of me after a LONG day at Great America. I am sorta tired. Not much though because we didn't get to go on many rides. The slutty (PRE) teenage girls have taken over the WORLD!!!!!! What the hell is going on? Have I been too busy doing homework and trying to get by to realize that... Read More
i have totally had dreams like that before, where me and a close friend have gotten into crazy fights where i was throwing stuff and cussing them out.. it's so weird to wake up from one of those.
sadly, i can relate so much to what you wrote, your thought process while you were using. sucks i hate crystal.
it totally fucks with you.
i'm so happy you have the strength to stop
it seems as though i will never be more than this
bitter, used, abused, bruised little girl
and as the cycle continues...
i am in the mindset that this is the only way i can operate
does this mean i want this?
you?
i haven't yet found what will empower me
to rise above this mindless circulation of lies and maltreatment
for now i cannot... Read More
While I was on the outside this week, I dropped in on your journal and was so frustrated that I could not respond. I felt so sad reading what you are going through, and just wished there was something that I could do or say to make it better for you. I wish that our community were closer geographically, and we could all hang out together.
I know you don't need to be told this but this rough period will pass. I've had a damn near lifelong battle with depression, and at those rough points I have felt pretty bleak. My friends and family are what has kept me sane through it all, and even if you were to not have anyone there, I know that you have at least one real life friend in here that cares a great deal for you, and given an opportunity most of the people on your list above would happily give you a shoulder, a hug, and lend an ear. Life is hard but the good parts make it so worth it!
hahaha, yeah I've always wanted my eyebrows waxed! my cousin told me about the stuff she uses at home..I might try that. but maybe I should just go and get it done...hmm.
yes it was mind blowing for me that my friends all have babies and are getting married. I had 4 friends give birth since last fall! it was crazy. as cute as they are..thanks I'll wait a few years for mine. it also blows my mind that all my friends babies were "accidents". HOW can that happen w/how easy BC is to get??! I almost slapped them all! geez.