I have no comfort food. This is a dangerous problem you see. Because I'm fairly certain as of the second, comfort is something I could do with having more of.
I think I got Dear Johned by Dani. Which is good, I mean it was a long time coming and probably necessary at this point. We've talked. Sort of. She loves her husband and she's sorry for leading me on ever. Its not her fault of course. I knew better.
Atlanta isn't going to happen either. Just don't have the money for Dragon Con, every week the money just slips away toward things more pertinent. Bills officially suck.
School Monday. I'm more than a little excited. Also got that nervous anticipation going on now.
I'm selfish, I really am. I say I'm not, somehow I give off this air that I'm not. But I am. I did it again. I was there, laying in bed, the whole thing with Dani still fresh on my mind. And all I could think was how I wanted more. How I wanted her there.
Alone.
It was the last thing I wanted last night. But its what I got. What I always get. What I'll always have.
Always alone.
Its hard to figure out what the fluke is. The last five years or so, or the last wonderful Saturday with her. I hesitate to even add this, because I know she's going to see it. And I know she'll hurt. And the last thing I want to do is hurt her. Or anyone.
I think I'd go crawl back in bed and not sleep for another six hours like last night. But I can't. The boy child is calling for me again.
Hey if anyone sees my heart anywhere do me a favor, pick it up for me. Wash it if you get a chance, or at least brush the debris off. I gotta find a better place to keep it. Leaving it on my sleeve as I am apt to do is dangerous. Keeps getting caught on things and broken.
-JC
I think I got Dear Johned by Dani. Which is good, I mean it was a long time coming and probably necessary at this point. We've talked. Sort of. She loves her husband and she's sorry for leading me on ever. Its not her fault of course. I knew better.
Atlanta isn't going to happen either. Just don't have the money for Dragon Con, every week the money just slips away toward things more pertinent. Bills officially suck.
School Monday. I'm more than a little excited. Also got that nervous anticipation going on now.
I'm selfish, I really am. I say I'm not, somehow I give off this air that I'm not. But I am. I did it again. I was there, laying in bed, the whole thing with Dani still fresh on my mind. And all I could think was how I wanted more. How I wanted her there.
Alone.
It was the last thing I wanted last night. But its what I got. What I always get. What I'll always have.
Always alone.
Its hard to figure out what the fluke is. The last five years or so, or the last wonderful Saturday with her. I hesitate to even add this, because I know she's going to see it. And I know she'll hurt. And the last thing I want to do is hurt her. Or anyone.
I think I'd go crawl back in bed and not sleep for another six hours like last night. But I can't. The boy child is calling for me again.
Hey if anyone sees my heart anywhere do me a favor, pick it up for me. Wash it if you get a chance, or at least brush the debris off. I gotta find a better place to keep it. Leaving it on my sleeve as I am apt to do is dangerous. Keeps getting caught on things and broken.
-JC
I don't know. I will say i totally admire what you did, and hopefully we'll get to see you come back stronger.
Good luck at school too.
I do wonder if i had the ability to erase these past few months, whether i would or not. Probably not i say. I mean despite a few words that should never have been said, i don't think we should change anything. Following our heart is something to be proud of i reckon. It doesn't always feel like it, but it must be better than being tied up with regrets right?
I'm not sure what happens from here but i'm sure we'd do it again in an instant.
As for today, i'm gonna order Say anything on blu ray. Because John cusack always had the answers.