Wednesday Dec 22, 2004

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today i realized that i've lost sight of who i am. i've has drunken nights when i look into the mirror and i question who's staring back at me; this time i'm sober and i dont know who that stranger is. its ironic that the new year is coming and so many things in my life have changed regardless of my struggles to maintain some sort of control. what do you do when you lose sight of what makes you an individual? i feel like american society is beginning to seep into my personality and i hate it. i realized its happening because i've become an empty canvas. losing who you are only means i now have the rare chance to redefine myself. the only question left now is where do i go from here..?
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wtf:
Don't fight change, it is futile. My favorite thought when things start feeling like like the ground is falling our from beneath my feet and I don't even know my name is :Go with the flow. Life is changing and it is only when you resist that I can feel the struggle inside, change is going to happen and we all change and so we have to change with it. Afterall, who would want to be the same as when we were 9 years old? Although sometimes I have the feeling I'm still in there fighting my way to 10, 11 and 12. We esentially stay the same but grow. Problems come from resisting and every once in a while, I think change goes so fast, {like the end of school, relationships, moving} that we don't recognize ourselves because we define ourselves by external forces instead of internal ones. Look inside and find the 13 year old. You'll be okay, then go out and play with the snow, and throw a snowball for me biggrin .

I like you and have considered myself lucky "meeting" you here! Happy Holidays

[Edited on Dec 25, 2004 10:27AM]
pandamonium:
awesome post in DATING SUCKS!!




Daddy wink


p.s. you should join my group wink

[Edited on Dec 27, 2004 8:19PM]

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