ironhalo

so its 2 am on a friday night. im at home doing homework. i realized that the file ive been working on is really jacked up and im going to basically have to start over from square one. this didnt make me feel much better.. now im really behind in school. this sucks. i want to shoot myself. i dont know what im doing anymore. im going to talk to my teacher monday and see if i can get some stuff worked out. i dont know where i should be or what i should do. i guess i need direction, badly.. tommorow im going to go out and have fun for the last time. if i dont start getting serious then im going to fail. and i WILL NOT fail. i will not buckle under the pressure. i will not waste all these years of school and money because i cant get a hold of my own life. i refuse to become a statistic. im better than this.

to further complicate matters, i went out with a really nice girl last night. we hung out for 9 hours.. longest date ive ever been on, but i didnt notice too much. i really dont have time for a girlfriend right now, let alone anything serious at all.

i feel like im going to suffocate or something. surprisingly enough, logging my thoughts in cyberspace is somewhat theraputic. i should keep a real journal or something.